Isn't it Hard?

Yes, the answer is YES. 

Most of the time when people find out my husband is a pilot and is gone quite often I get the polite, customary response of "Oh, wow you must have your hands full" 

Thanks captain obvious. 

That's what my brain says at least. 

I usually respond with something along the lines of "well, yeah, but we make it work!" 

I mean, what am I suppose to say back to that? 

I'm not usually on my game to say something witty back, but someday maybe I will. 

The truth is, it sucks. But not every moment sucks. Most days flow by with FaceTime chats, quick text messages & phone calls to end the night. And thats normal for us, and its good and works to get us by until the next time we're physically together. Some days are epically terrible, with meltdowns - from me and the girls - arguments, loneliness & sadness. Sometimes we have a whole trip that is bad, and sometimes when the stars align and angels are singing we have a whole trip that is good. 

And sometimes we're in the middle of a 6 month separation for training, that is taxing on everybody. Yes, we could have moved across the country, with much of it at our own expense a total of four times in under 2 years, and stayed with Jordan at training, but we chose for me and the girls to settle down in a place we know we'll be for years to come. And we are happy with this decision. Well, most days anyway. 

Today was a weird day. Not a particularly bad or good day, just a pretty standard day. We had music class and followed our day-time routine with a FaceTime call around dinner. Anytime we're on FaceTime, Natalie practically breaks her neck and lunges at the iPad to see her daddy. She's kind of obsessed with him, and that is fantastic. Evie goes about her playing and shows her dad everything she's building or coloring. Today I sat back and thought about how crazy it is that this is our normal. 

It is sad and good - bittersweet you might say - that our girls are so used to FaceTime being apart of how we talk to their daddy. I'm proud that they are well adjusted in that way, and can enjoy daddy time and he can truly be apart of their days. In those moments I'm also sad for them that their dad is away. 

I was teary tonight as I was getting Evie in bed, and we called daddy one last time. "He" was propped  up on the pillow and Evie was talking away just as if he was sitting right next to me. She giggled with him, and he laughed back at the silly things she was saying. She gives the best bear hugs and every time we get off the phone, she has to give daddy a big hug - and a smooch - before she pushes the button to hang up. She hugs that iPad like she's hugging her daddy and smooches him right on his face. As much as I'm sad for Evie & Natalie when I get all emotional like this, I'm most sad for Jordan. 

Jordan is stuck in a town he doesn't want to be in advancing his career and doing amazing things, but his girls are 16 hours away. He's forced to watch them learn things and grow on a tiny screen in a lonely crash pad. He sleeps in a house that people rotate through as they do training and has all the convinces of home, without being home. He doesn't have roommates at the moment so he really is alone. For some reason, it hit me tonight how difficult this is for him. Seeing him sitting in a recliner, so in the moment with his little girl and enjoying every second.