The End [of pregnancy] is Near

38 weeks. 38 freaking weeks pregnant! This is almost over. I can't even wrap my mind around it. In such a short time we are going to have a new baby in our home, and I seriously can't wait. It doesn't seem possible that its time to have her. I do feel like I've been pregnant forever, but I just can't believe its almost over.

When I was pregnant with Evie (and this time around too) I measured small throughout the whole pregnancy and at the end my blood pressure climbed high enough to need bi-weekly non-invasive testing. No big deal. It just comes with the territory of being 9 months pregnant right?! Because lets remember, pregnancy is 40 weeks long...which is 10 month, not the usual 9 months people say...and lets face it those last 4-5 weeks take FOREVER. Regardless...my body decides at the end to push the limits and be a little fussy. Not fussy enough to be too dangerous for me or for baby, but requires close monitoring. With Evie being my first pregnancy, my doctors (with watchful eyes) let me go past my due date to let me go into labor & deliver on my own. I am so thankful for that, because thats exactly what happened.

This time around my doctor isn't as keen on waiting around when my body is showing signs of hitting its limits. It means bi-weekly non-invasive appointments again. It sounds like we will have her before our due date whether by induction or by going into labor before our due date. I'm not really mad about knowing I won't be over-due this time around, can't lie about that! This is what my [dropped?!] 38 week pregnant belly looks like! We had a fun day of doctors appointments, enjoying a summer kick off on base with friends and sharing some ice cream at the end of a hot, humid day!


The hardest part for me at this point is thinking about Evelyn not being my only baby anymore. I know I am totally in love with this new little girl, but I'm sad and sentimental about my baby girl not being my only baby. I know the adjustment will be just that - an adjustment - and our new girl will fit right in with our family. It just seems so weird to leave the family of three behind and take on the family of four.

Family of 3 for another week

 This was Evie and I enjoying Mother's Day and being goofy. She really has been so much fun lately. Her vocabulary has been impressive lately and she has started speaking in mini-sentences. She makes me laugh every. single. day. She is sweet with other people, sassy with me and Jordan and has quite the personality and opinions. The dreaded terrible twos are just ahead, but I am not phased by the toddler tantrums and mind games [just yet]. I can see her frustrations and I just try to help her cope with what she's upset about. Most of the things she gets upset with are just silly, which usually just make me laugh and we move forward as fast as we can. She is a little spitfire that keeps me on my toes and I am forever blessed by her being my little girl. I can't wait to watch her be a big sister to another amazing little girl.

This [presumably] last week of pregnancy may go by very slowly, or move faster than I hope. I want to take in every moment with Evelyn and Jordan before we throw in more chaos to our lives. I am very excited and anxiously awaiting meeting our little girl! 

Pregnant.

Written 4.22.15

This pregnancy is almost done. How is that even possible? I know I'm busy with a toddler this time around, but seriously - how are we 35 weeks pregnant this week?! I haven't taken as much time as I did when I was pregnant with Evelyn to enjoy and soak up the pregnancy. I have enjoyed being pregnant this time around just as much, but its so different. I have nothing to complain about - just some typical heartburn and the usual aches of growing a human. She has been so good to me and I can't be more excited to meet her.

There have been more questions this time around for me. Maybe its because we're away from our families and in a different state, away from the hospital and doctors that I knew so well. But I think my biggest sense of questions and 'fear of the unknown' is the fact that we are flipping Evelyn's world upside down and she doesn't even know it. Its not that I'm sad for her, I'm super excited she will have a sister so close in age. But I worry about the adjustment. I can ask my friends and family who have more than one kiddo and everybody will have a different response of how it went for them. And truthfully, some have horror stories and I don't care to hear them. I don't need to be more worried than I already am.

I am so confident in my ability to care for an infant that with Evelyn I didn't have the 'fear of the unknown' feelings. I knew what to expect for the most part. I taught families how to take care of their infants on a regular basis at work, and I had seen many friends take babies home. The baby thing is easy for me. And this time around I'm still not worried about the baby stage. A little newborn is comfortable to me and I find comfort and solace thinking about taking care of a baby. Taking care of a toddler AND  baby - now that scares me some.

This whole toddler world is so foreign to me and I worry about navigating this unknown toddler landscape. Every week - heck every day - seems to be a different phase, or a different battle, and definitely a different mood. No day is predictable and while that is fun, I wish I knew more about navigating this toddler world. I am constantly wondering if I'm doing the 'right thing.' Am I teaching her enough? Am I missing anything? Is this stage/phase/milestone normal? Is she suppose to be this sassy?!

I think about the change from a family of three to a family of four. With one kiddo, yes, our world is different and we are living in a toddler tornado, but for the most part we can bring her along with us, and after the initial shock of having a person to take care of, the adjustment was pretty darn easy and felt so normal. Will this transition feel as normal? This unknown is a major source of stress for me when I dwell on it for too long. I'm good at that - dwelling on thoughts that I have no control over. I've heard people talk about the difficult transition from one to two children, so I might have some justification in these thoughts, but I know I shouldn't dwell too long.

I need to trust the process and trust that we have given, and will continue to give, Evelyn enough love and grace to get through this adjustment. Although I have been occupied with our toddler tornado and thoughts of the transition to come, I have been blessed by a beautiful, wonderful pregnancy and I am so grateful for that. This may be our biggest challenge as a family to date, and we may not have any clue what is about to hit us, but I am confident in our family and I know we are capable of welcoming this little girl into our lives with as much love and excitement as we welcomed Evelyn.

Did I mention we only have 5 weeks left?!