Lets be Honest

Monday was one of those days. You know those days. The days when nothing seems to go right, exhaustion is at its peak and you can't seem to pull yourself out of it. When life seems overwhelming and you can't find the good in anything really.  Positivity is thrown out the window and you snowball your thoughts into worse-case scenarios. Everybody has those days, right? Well that was Monday, and what made it even worse - it was my birthday.

I don't expect huge things on my birthday, it really is just another day after you turn 21. Its great to hear from friends on Facebook, get calls from grandparents, texts all day from friends & all the extra warm fuzzier that people throw your way. And that certainly happened for me yesterday. It was great. But it didn't really pull me out of 'one of those days.' So to be honest, my day still kinda sucked. 

The horrible, no good day started off the evening before really. Evie is cutting some molars, and Natalie is figuring out life, sleep and how to sneak as much mom time as possible. So we've been having busy, emotional days around here. Jordan is gone, so naturally nobody sleeps well in our house. Evie woke up around midnight and didn't fall back to sleep well, Natalie did her wake up for food, and Evie woke up 2 hours earlier than normal just to make momma feel extra tired - at least she fell asleep with me in bed for a while longer.

So I'm tired, how many pots of coffee is safe to drink in a day? Evie is whining and crying at just about everything. And by everything I mean EVERYTHING. This girl gives full on dramatic episodes to questioning if she wants water or milk. It took me a good hour before the fog lifted some for me. Again, I'm not the only one with this struggle, right? My fog is lifting just about the time Natalie decides she's hungry/tired/cranky/cling-on. She's been doing this I'm fussy, not super hungry, but I want to nurse, and no I'm not sleeping thing. Every morning lately its been a thing - she used to just take a morning nap, I'd like that back. 

We stumble through the morning. All the while I'm just cranky myself. Just in a funk. I get "happy birthday!!" calls and texts. They are lovely, they really are. The cheer me up - and then I look around at my massive pile of laundry, fussy baby, dramatic crying two year old - and then I'm back into that funk. Why? I want so badly just to enjoy the day with my girls and relax. But as the morning wore on, it almost got worse.

The rest of the day continued to have ups and downs. Happy birthday calls staggered throughout the day and would shine light through the clouds hanging over my head that day. The girls fought me on naps, not sure anybody slept more than 45 minutes. I decided it was time to get out of the house, and we went for some greasy, Chick Fil-A and it was just what we needed!