On the Eve of Turning One

My sweet girl Natalie turns one tomorrow. 

Another year has gone by and its a time to pause and remember how far and how much we've done in a year. But before I trolled through my memories I rocked my sweet baby to sleep. 

Its about the only time she's snuggly (with me at least) these days. She's still holding on to nursing and I'm not going to fight it yet. 

Honestly, most nights I try and stay awake during these quiet moments playing  game on my phone, shopping on amazon or mindlessly scrolling through Facebook. After Evie had outgrown the "nursing  to sleep phase," I always said I would take more time to enjoy those moments. This year has been different with Jordan being gone for the last seven months, I've had to keep Natalie's snuggle time shorter as Evie waits for me to get Natalie down before she heads to bed. 

Jordan has been home for the last week of Natalie's first year. With our family back together,  more snuggles have happened for this momma and the little one. 

I want to soak up these last moments of baby-hood. She's a wild little one and her snuggles are the sweetest. We're sitting sideways in my comfy rocking chair with my left leg tucked under, just in case I decide to doze off...I've found its the comfiest position for when its time to move.

She sleepily flails her arms around usually smacking her forehead. Her eyes get heavier and heavier, and she's usually making noises until she finally settles. I can tell she's asleep, but I can't move yet. I just watch her chest rising, her twitching feet, & her eyes fluttering as if she's dancing in her dreams. I get up as smooth as possible in a cushy rocking chair. 

She stirs just enough to know I'm walking to her bed, but she doesn't fight it. I kiss her little face as many times as I can before I know she'll wake up. I lay her in bed on her side and she flips to her belly. She usually mutters a quick little sound as she tucks her blanket by her face and snuggles in for the night. 

And then I realize again that tomorrow she will be one. One whole year of putting this girl to sleep every night in the same way. I want to burn these nights into my mind because far too soon, they will be memories that won't shine as brightly as they once did. 

I feel so lucky to have been tasked to be her mommy and the one who spends the last minutes with her each day. Maybe one day I'll share these sweet moments with her dad :)