Waiting game

Jordan and I have been hoping to start a family soon. I work in a unit and with people that is so baby focused that sometimes its hard to think about anything but "trying." A lot of the families that have babies in our unit have heartbreaking stories about how long they tried to have a family and have spent thousands on infertility treatments. Once they get pregnant, sometimes things don't go as planned and their baby ends up in the NICU. We obviously have babies there from all walks of life and not all couples with infertility problems have babies in our unit, but we do hear about it quite a bit. And that is just from the families that we work with.

Lets not count the 150 nurses that I work with who at some point started a family, and it seems like an in-proportionate number of my co-workers have had struggles of their own. And right now at work it seems like there is about 20 or so girls who just had babies, are currently pregnant, or are trying to get pregnant. It is everywhere! Babies, babies, babies! I like to think that I am not an anxious person, but to be honest I do have anxiety and tend to over-think. That poses a challenge when you want to try to have a family and be relaxed about it. Especially because everybody says that when you don't worry about it, it happens. And lets be real, I'm not worried about it by any means, but I definitely think about it quite a bit!

Another thing that doesn't help is that unfortunately last month, we had a miscarriage. It was early, about 6 weeks, but it still stings. They say you are more fertile in the months following a miscarriage, and I hope that holds true for us. It was our first month of tracking a few indicators of fertility, we conceived and were successful.

The real issue is the waiting game. For somebody who likes instant gratification and doesn't like to wait, there is a whole lot of waiting in the "trying to get pregnant" game. Wait until your period is over, wait until you ovulate, wait until your suppose to get your period so you can take a pregnancy test. Thats a lot of waiting! I have to say, we are having a lot of fun trying to get pregnant, so its not awful to wait. But when you were pregnant and had it in your mind and then it was gone and you have to wait again  for the next time to come around.

All in all, I am positive and hopeful that this will not take long and I am not consumed by constant thoughts. But dang, could the days go by any slower when the one thing you want you have to wait so many days to know if it will be this month or not?