[Another] Beautiful Pregnancy

I had to share and make a special post about our maternity family photography session. One of the coolest things about living on base is that people come from all over the country and bring their talents with them. I was lucky enough to meet a fantastic photographer who is a fellow pilot spouse who is oh so talented. She had the right vision for us and I am so glad we chose her to capture this moment in our lives. Thank you Abbey Leigh {Roberts} Photography! 

Since we are at UPT and that only happens once in a lifetime, we chose to take pictures out on the flight line with the T-6, one of the planes Jordan trained on, and I LOVE the way they turned out. The evening we took pictures was a bit chilly, windy and had some storm clouds trying to roll in, but it set  the perfect tone and we got great pictures.
It was absolutely perfect.

I also really wanted some pictures that were true to Oklahoma and had a bit of that country, wide open spaces feel that surrounds us here. Our photographer found a cute barn & gorgeous wheat field to capture the perfect pictures (yes, she had permission to use that property!) The results were great! The clouds and the wind made for the perfect dramatic setting! 

So in love!! 

Pregnant.

Written 4.22.15

This pregnancy is almost done. How is that even possible? I know I'm busy with a toddler this time around, but seriously - how are we 35 weeks pregnant this week?! I haven't taken as much time as I did when I was pregnant with Evelyn to enjoy and soak up the pregnancy. I have enjoyed being pregnant this time around just as much, but its so different. I have nothing to complain about - just some typical heartburn and the usual aches of growing a human. She has been so good to me and I can't be more excited to meet her.

There have been more questions this time around for me. Maybe its because we're away from our families and in a different state, away from the hospital and doctors that I knew so well. But I think my biggest sense of questions and 'fear of the unknown' is the fact that we are flipping Evelyn's world upside down and she doesn't even know it. Its not that I'm sad for her, I'm super excited she will have a sister so close in age. But I worry about the adjustment. I can ask my friends and family who have more than one kiddo and everybody will have a different response of how it went for them. And truthfully, some have horror stories and I don't care to hear them. I don't need to be more worried than I already am.

I am so confident in my ability to care for an infant that with Evelyn I didn't have the 'fear of the unknown' feelings. I knew what to expect for the most part. I taught families how to take care of their infants on a regular basis at work, and I had seen many friends take babies home. The baby thing is easy for me. And this time around I'm still not worried about the baby stage. A little newborn is comfortable to me and I find comfort and solace thinking about taking care of a baby. Taking care of a toddler AND  baby - now that scares me some.

This whole toddler world is so foreign to me and I worry about navigating this unknown toddler landscape. Every week - heck every day - seems to be a different phase, or a different battle, and definitely a different mood. No day is predictable and while that is fun, I wish I knew more about navigating this toddler world. I am constantly wondering if I'm doing the 'right thing.' Am I teaching her enough? Am I missing anything? Is this stage/phase/milestone normal? Is she suppose to be this sassy?!

I think about the change from a family of three to a family of four. With one kiddo, yes, our world is different and we are living in a toddler tornado, but for the most part we can bring her along with us, and after the initial shock of having a person to take care of, the adjustment was pretty darn easy and felt so normal. Will this transition feel as normal? This unknown is a major source of stress for me when I dwell on it for too long. I'm good at that - dwelling on thoughts that I have no control over. I've heard people talk about the difficult transition from one to two children, so I might have some justification in these thoughts, but I know I shouldn't dwell too long.

I need to trust the process and trust that we have given, and will continue to give, Evelyn enough love and grace to get through this adjustment. Although I have been occupied with our toddler tornado and thoughts of the transition to come, I have been blessed by a beautiful, wonderful pregnancy and I am so grateful for that. This may be our biggest challenge as a family to date, and we may not have any clue what is about to hit us, but I am confident in our family and I know we are capable of welcoming this little girl into our lives with as much love and excitement as we welcomed Evelyn.

Did I mention we only have 5 weeks left?!

Coming our way, A Baby.....

We are so thrilled to welcome another GIRL!!! 

I have to say that I was totally shocked by this. Jordan wasn't so much.

I know each pregnancy is different, but things have literally been opposite of my pregnancy with Evelyn. And I would have put money on the fact we were going to have a boy. 

Buuuuuut I was so, so wrong! 

I am seriously so excited to have another daughter. I can't wait to meet her and kiss her sweet cheeks! 

Jordan knows he's in trouble with another girl coming his way. But he is so gentle and sweet with Evelyn and I can't wait to see him with this sweet girl! 

We didn't find out if we were expecting a boy or girl when we were pregnant with Evelyn and we absolutely loved being surprised! This time around, with being in a new state, new hospitals & doctors, family being halfway across the country, and the fact that we were surprised by this sweet girl in the first place, we decided we wanted to find out this time around. I was curious to know if I felt different and bonded differently while pregnant knowing versus not knowing. So we went for it, and I'm so excited to have a different perspective this time around! 

We officially found out we were having a little girl on New Years Eve, but we were truthfully a bit sneaky about finding out. A couple weeks before we headed home for Christmas, on 12.13.14, we went to a local company who specializes in prenatal ultrasounds. Sneaky, and so out of character, but we went for it. My sensibility kicked in. We had literally at least six bins of girl clothes & gear back in our storage unit in Michigan. It would have killed me to find out we were having a little girl with all that stuff back home, and no easy way to get it to Oklahoma. I thought it was a waste of time that we were finding out because I was so sure it was a boy, but man am I glad that we went for it and found out about our little girl! So now that we know we are having a little girl, its time to go through bins of clothes, figure out what we need for a newborn again and prepare ourselves for two girls under two! Yikes!

 In the mean time, we will be getting Evelyn into a toddler bed so we have a crib for baby girl. We won't be able to keep her in our room very long due to Jordan's busy work schedule and his need for sleep. We moved Evelyn into her crib around 6 weeks, so I figure we'll do about this same this time around depending on her sleep habits. Evelyn is starting to act interested in potty training too, so we may take that on before baby girl comes along. 

We are going to be busy, busy in the next few months leading up to her birth and then even more so once she's here. I'm excited to experience a different approach to pregnancy knowing that we have a girl and not left to wonder the whole time (which was still super fun!). I pray that everything continues to go smoothly with this sweet girl and that I continue to love being pregnant the second time around! 

Oh, and lets work on not being frank breech little girl, alright?! Its not as fun as it may seem right now, just wait until you're bigger, you won't appreciate the cramped space hanging out like that! 

Making an Announcement

Last week on Thanksgiving weekend we made our baby #2 news Facebook official! 

We hadn't really planned on when we would tell Facebook land and didn't put much thought into it. So when Thanksgiving rolled around we thought maybe it was time to let everybody know. 

We, well I, decided that I wanted to find a cute little saying or something to use Evelyn to announce our new baby. Its a little - well a lot- cliche, but it seemed boring to just write out a status update. 

My parents were in town and we took advantage that time to take a couple pictures at a local park here in Enid. Evelyn had a great nap, and it was going to be the perfect little mini-photoshoot! She is used to me snapping pictures, so she's a pro. Right? Wrong. So very wrong! 

HAHAHAHAHA!! I laugh every time I look at these pictures!! 

Maybe she is really that sad about being a big sister?! Only time will tell! 

Evelyn wanted NOTHING to do with pictures. Thank God we had a cookie and could distract her and my mom makes her very happy, so she got her smiling. Or at least looking at the camera and not screaming. But she still screamed a lot. 

We managed to get a few when she wasn't screaming and I still think she's cute when she's screaming. At least sometimes. 

We had a very eventful Thanksgiving, that is a whole different story, but we are happy to officially share our excitement with our friends & family! Its crazy to think about having a SECOND baby to be under our constant care. Who thought that was a good idea?! 

But seriously we can't wait to meet this little babe.

Our little kiddo at 10 weeks! 

Love you little baby! 

Another new life

This post was written the day we found out we are expecting baby #2! 

So today - September 19, 2014, we found out we are expecting our second little baby.

I'm a little - well, a lot - suprised! Thank God for Jordan being over the moon excited!

I've been feeling nauseous off and on since we've been in Oklahoma. I blamed it on the heat and the change in weather, allergies & just being in a new place. But this morning I was feeling good, went to take a bit of cheese that Evelyn was having, and I almost gagged on it. And I just thought....hmmm....lets just take that one test I have in the house. I don't usually just have pregnancy tests laying around. We weren't TRYING to get pregnant, so it wasn't like I was checking to see if we were pregnant every month. I'm not even sure why I had one in our cabinet actually.

Regardless, took the test and before the test was even done, there were two lines. I was SO SHOCKED! I mean, I didn't take that test expecting a positive result, I just figured I was being a silly girl. But nope. The positive line was almost darker than the control line, so I mean we.are.pregnant!

Then the panic set in. OMG we are in Oklahoma. OMG Jordan is in training. OMG we will have 2 kids under 2. OMG. OMG. OMG!

Jordan was of course at work and wasn't able to talk. I had to wait until he got home to tell him. When he got home he saw the positive test and was BEYOND excited! It took him about 30 seconds to think, OMG, and then he was pumped. He went back to work this afternoon and told everybody he saw that we were pregnant.

Its just so weird to think that this baby won't be born at a hospital I know like the back of my hand. I won't know all the doctors and nurses like I did at Bronson. We won't have all of our friends and family around. I have to let go of that, and know that this baby is meant to be. To get pregnant when we weren't trying is a blessing that we embrace and even though I am still shaking as I write this, we are so lucky to have this baby!

Well Done, Baby

So here we are 2 days after our due date, with no end in sight. Well we do have an eviction date set for next week, but no signs of our little bugger coming any sooner than that! It really isn't all that surprising that we have a bit of a stubborn baby who is happy where it is. Jordan and I are 2 of the most stubborn people I know, and of course our baby is following in our foot steps. Now, I know that babies rarely come on their due date, or before their due date for that matter. I know it is normal and great and perfect for a baby to come whenever they feel like it. Even knowing that, it is not the easiest thing in the world to wait. I thought last week was tough to wait through, this is a whole new game.

I have been taken off work for blood pressure trouble. So now that my house is cleaned for the thirteenth time today (its only 2pm), I am sitting around, waiting for time to pass and hopefully for this baby to come very, very soon. I am far more uncomfortable in the past week than I have been all pregnancy, but no changes are happening in my body to get this baby out. I am hoping and praying that it just happens really fast and my body will snap into action without any prompting! I want more than than anything to go into labor on our own without being induced, but it is discouraging that after 5 weeks of contractions and having a 'favorable' cervix 3 weeks ago, we now have an 'unfavorable' cervix with a baby happy where it is! It is just silly to be bummed about all this because I know the end is near, but it is more challenging for me than I expected it to be. I will be the first to say, I am not coping with all this well!

With all this waiting with nothing to do, I am trying to remind myself that in a few weeks, I will be begging for some time alone and for a moment to just do nothing. I have become very emotional and just all sorts of crazy, and I keep trying to remember how blessed we are and how very, very soon this will all be over and we will have a little baby. We have our house ready, our bags ready, now all we need is a baby. Every night I've prayed for relaxation for myself, to de-stress and to have my mind be calmed. I continue to pray that our baby is safe and will be healthy when its time to meet him or her. I am trying to find patience within myself to enjoy these last few days of this pregnancy, because soon I will have to share our baby with everybody, and I've really enjoyed having the baby all to myself the last 10 months. So for now, Jordan and I are going to try and keep our minds off all things baby. We'll have a date night, we'll go to the beach, we'll sit and snuggle and enjoy the quiet in our home. All too soon this calm will be over and we'll move on to the next stage of our life. I am so excited for that next step, but I do need to remember to enjoy the quiet, calm moments of now.

Beautiful Pregnancy

Pregnancy can be very stressful and very difficult for some people. I have been very blessed with a healthy full term pregnancy. Working in the NICU makes me very, very grateful for every day that I have in this pregnancy. I see too many pregnancies cut short for a multitude of reasons, and it breaks my heart every time. I know I have had it much easier than most when it comes to being pregnant, but I have cherished every day and reveled in the fact that I have nurtured this little person for the last 9 months. It really is a miracle. And no matter the type of pregnancy, how a woman feels, how much weight she gains, how miserable she feels, it is a beautiful time in our lives as mothers. I keep having to remind myself that with all this waiting at the end, that these are the final days I will ever have with this baby inside of me. I know we'll have more children, but this pregnancy is almost over. And this pregnancy has been something to celebrate. I will only have 1 first baby, only 1 first time giving birth, only 1 first time having a pregnancy that I can do whatever I want, when I want. And I sometimes can forget that.

To capture our beautiful pregnancy, Jordan and I decided to get maternity pictures taken by the same photographer that will be taking our newborn pictures too. I saw her work from a girlfriend that I work with who used her for her newborn pictures. Our photographer is Sara Combs, of Sara Combs Photography, and I absolutely fell in love with her work the second I saw it. Her style fits us perfectly and I love her creative edge. So needless to say, we were excited to get our pictures taken by her! I just got my pictures from her and I just had the realization that pregnancy is really, really beautiful and there is no other way around it.

I wanted to share some of my favorite pictures, and just try to always remember that this is such a gift and even when I feel gross and big and sweaty because of all this heat, that I am beautiful because I am carrying another life.

The Waiting Game

So...patience is a virtue right? Well I am severely lacking that virtue at this point in my life! All this anticipation of meeting our little person is leading up to......waiting. Lots and lots of waiting. Waking up every day thinking, is today the day? Trying to find things to do to keep your mind off....waiting. Just waiting.

Ugh, I really wish there was a way to just stop thinking about waiting. But only working 3 days a week, Jordan has been conveniently gone for the last 5 days and of course, I was off on all those days so I've had to fill my days on my own. And when you're trying to keep your mind off something by staying busy, you can only do so many trips to the grocery store, only so many times you can do the dishes and only so many times you can vacuum in a  day.

It also doesn't help that it has been a crazy heat wave this week. I can't really enjoy being outside just based on the fact that the heat index is 100 and it feels like you are breathing thick, thick air outside! I really have been lucky though, because this summer has had mostly comfortable weather conditions for a 9 month pregnant lady.

I think another part of this waiting game that is making it so drawn out is that I'm just so ready to move on to the next part of our lives! I can't wait to see Jordan as a daddy and to see him interact with our little one. I am excited about late nights and early morning snuggles with our baby. I'm excited to watch them change and grow way to fast for my own liking. And really most exciting is to find out if we are having a little boy or a little girl! I still sometimes can't believe that I have no idea who has been growing inside of me for the last 9 months!

I have been a very happy, patient pregnant lady right up until the end of this thing. I just have to keep telling myself that the later we go, the longer we have off in October and I love October! Jordan has vacation in October and I just love everything about October, so the longer this little person stays inside, the more we get to enjoy fall! I've got to keep a positive spin on this whole thing, otherwise I think I might drive myself crazy! And really, when it comes down to it, we are so lucky to have made it this far, we are truly blessed to have been given this opportunity to have a full-term God given little person! But seriously, C'MON BABY! WE CAN'T WAIT TO MEET YOU!!!!

A Pregnant Mothers Day

Its mothers day this weekend and I've been doing a lot of thinking about what mothers day really is all about. It is a "made-up" holiday, but I think its very important at the same time. Its a day to be extra thankful for your mother and show her how much you care about her and show appreciation for all she does for you. I know my mom is pretty super and I'm pretty lucky to have her. Mothers day reminds me how awesome she is and how much I should probably thank her for all she does more often than I do.

All that being said, this year obviously I am pregnant. I have been out and about doing errands and people keep stopping me and saying, "Happy Mothers Day to the expectant Mommy." This usually starts a quick, causal conversation about due dates, first babies, etc. I absolutely appreciate the kind thoughts and wishing me a happy mothers day, but it just gets me thinking even more. This whole expectant mom thing on mothers day, especially the first time around I'm sure, is sort of an awkward thing for me at this point. I should probably not even think too much about this, but I can't help it, I'm me and thats what I do, over think things!

Now I am not denying that I am going to be a mother. Its just that at this point, its hard for me to picture myself as a mother currently. I wonder if that is just me, or if other pregnant women feel the same way. I very much so have an active little one that I know is fully living and would survive if it were born today (making me instant momma!). I am very aware of the baby items that are starting to accumulate in my house. We've been working on a nursery and planning our time off when our little one arrives. It just all seems too surreal to me at this point to actually think of myself as a mother, right now, in this current moment, for mothers day this weekend.

When is 'I'm going to be a mother' turn into 'I AM a mother?' For me I'm not sure that realization has happened yet. I am almost 30 weeks pregnant and I feel a  little behind the eight-ball on this one. Am I totally off my rocker here, or is this normal preggo momma stuff? I am beyond excited for all the things to be coming, but maybe thats just it. I can only picture all these motherly things happening in the future still. The future is going to quickly change to the present quicker than I can ever imagine. Maybe with baby showers and having the nursery done and ready for a baby will make it more real. Nonetheless, I know its coming whether we're ready or not and I am beyond excited!

The Ribs

Today was the first time I felt the baby in my ribs. What a wonderful feeling! Right? Right. Its a little shocking to me that I can feel that this early!

At first I wasn't really sure if thats what I was feeling. Our baby is very active and I feel lots of kicks throughout the day. But this was a different feeling. It was a dull pressure that didn't really kick or move away fast. It was just there. I thought it was just a random feeling. But sure enough, our little baby found a nice spot to lay right up underneath my ribs. At one point I tried to push in the area I felt the pressure to see if it really was the baby, well I certainly found out that it was. Our sassy babe kicked me right back at that moment as if he/she were saying, "excuse me! I'm trying to get comfortable!"

I just find it absolutely remarkable that the things other women talk about when they are pregnant are happening to me! I totally understand what a lot of them talk about with how cool it is to feel your baby move. There are really no words to explain it. Whether the moves are quick kicks, rolls, or hangin' out in the ribs, its just really cool. Its reassuring that everything is going as it should be, and it just constantly reminds you that you are carrying another human. That human depends on you for absolutely everything. And it will continue to depend on you to some degree for the rest of their life.

But I really would like to know how the baby finds the ribs this early. I am almost 28 weeks, and I can definitely feel the baby low. I feel pressure and I can feel little fluttery movements way 'down there.' So why is it already that I get this in the ribs? Is the baby really all that big/tall already? It just kinda blows my mind! It is kinda silly that I'm asking how big the baby, because I have taken care of many, many babies that are the size of my baby currently. I can literally walk onto my unit right now and find a couple babies that are the size of mine and just imagine how that would fit inside of me at this point. But even knowing that, and knowing that the baby really is getting bigger everyday, it is still amazing to me! I just can't wait to see what else the baby finds to mess with in the next 12 weeks!

The best days

It seems that life has a funny way of making you grateful for everything you have. 

There hasn't been one incident in particular that has really impacted me lately, there is just this little life inside of me, being a constant reminder of how precious and fragile life is. Like I talked about in an earlier post, I am very fortunate to have had the pregnancy I've had. I won't even begin to start down the list of why I'm grateful , but I just know that there are far too many things that can go wrong, and even though I am not out of the woods, I know that I am truly grateful for every healthy day that I do get. 

I've been thinking about all the destruction, death and hate that are going on in our world right now. I wonder if is much different than in the past. I mean I know that sounds a little silly because there are more ways it seems to easily kill massive amounts of people with one explosion. But how does living in such a technology centered world affect our perception of crime? We all know that big news stories about murders, wars and other bad things all get more air time. With every part of our lives being so accessible with a click of a button, I just wonder if we are just more aware of the evil that people can possess. I don't know, just a thought. 

And then I think about how blessed I am to have all the family and love I could have ever imagined. Seeing all these devastating stories on the news doesn't make me lose hope for mankind, it makes me think of the good that may come out of these situations. How people come together to help their neighbors and are more generous to each other. How people are influenced by a loved ones unexpected death and are moved to start a charity, or pledge to live their lives to the fullest because their loved one can't. People may be lead back to their religion, or volunteer more. I just think that sometimes you can't appreciate all the good in your life without realizing that there are awful things that can happen. 

Now I'm not saying that all these tragedies are good by any means. All I'm saying is that we need to all take a step back and see what good we can do without a tragedy. Why do we need something bad to happen in our lives, country or world for us to do good? Everyday I try to make the best of each day. I always try to go out and be happy and put a smile on somebody's face. I might make a fool of myself and be a little silly with things, but I don't see a reason to sit and feel sorry for myself for having a bad day. Sure, I have bad moments or times when I am stressed out and not acting as kind to my loved ones as I should, but I really try to stay positive and focus on the good in the world. I hope that other people can notice that in me and I'm not just blowing smoke up my own butt to make myself feel better about my outlook on life. 

Maybe I am infinitely happy that I am going to be a mommy and my husband is going to be the best daddy in the whole world to our little babe. Maybe I'm not quite right in the head (I know I'm probably not, but who is?). Maybe I just want to share a smile and make a difference in somebody's day. Maybe I am filled with so much peace because I know my Lord and Savior died for me and everyone else so that we can have a second chance. Whatever it is that is making me so happy, I'm just going to soak it up and enjoy it. There may be a day coming when I'm sleep deprived and my little babe won't stop screaming that I may find it hard to see the joy. But I pray that no matter my circumstance, I always will find happiness, love and joy in each and every day, because I know there are far too many people who wish they had one more day. 

Blood sugar test, Ack!

So, Jordan, baby and I have made it to 25 weeks! And, unfortunately the dreaded fasting blood sugar test. Around here, they do the "new & improved" blood sugar testing, which they say is a more accurate representation of gestational diabetics. I think its stupid. I think it 'captures' all these "gestational diabetics" who aren't really. I think it drives up medical costs. But thats just my opinion. I might be slightly biased because I have to be fasting for 10 hours and then sit there for 2 hours after I drink straight sugar mix. Who tells a 6-7 month pregnant lady that she can't eat? I mean c'mon, that just isn't nice. My test is at 730 am tomorrow, and I had to start fasting at 930pm. It is now 1030, and I am starving already and have some wicked heartburn. It will all be over in 12 hours, right? But seriously, enough complaining about an important test. It really is an important test, there are many women who have gestational diabetes and it is very serious, the babies can have multiple complications. But can't I just vent it out for a second?!

I honestly though should not even be complaining about taking this test. I've made it far enough in my pregnancy to have the privilege to take it. After all my belly-aching, then I call this a privilege, you probably think I'm a little crazy! (I am pregnant, after all!) At work every day, I am reminded of women who are not as lucky as I am to have a healthy pregnancy and face many complications. There have been many patients that I have taken care of whose mothers have not made it to 25 weeks to even take this test. I am so lucky to make it this far. There are far too many women in this world who deserve to have beautiful, wonderful, healthy pregnancies and have nothing but troubles. there are too many families who are heartbroken by infertility, miscarriage, fetal loss, stillborns, severe congenital defects, and many other complications. Jordan and I are truly blessed to have made it this far.

I know it sounds silly to keep saying, I've made it this far. It sounds a little odd to me too, but that's honestly how I feel. Everyday that passes and every time baby and I make it to another Monday, I think, "we've made it this far, look at how far we've come!" There are probably many women who realize what a miracle it is to have a baby inside of them, but fail to realize how lucky they are to be where they are at. I have seen the heartbreak of having twins at 23 weeks and only have 1 survive, only to have a long, uncertain road ahead. The sadness of going into spontaneous labor at any week before 37 weeks, it happens all too often. Maybe it really sucks that I know all these things can happen. Or maybe its God's way of keeping me grounded. Now, don't get me wrong, I have moments of feeling worn out, emotional, hungry (right now), but how can I deny how absolutely blessed I am to be where I am at. How can any woman who is pregnant deny that?

Our society is so focused on instant gratification that I feel like when some women get toward the end of their pregnancy, all they can do is complain and "want it to be over." I'm not saying those thoughts wouldn't cross my mind, I've never been to the end of a pregnancy before, but I sure as hell know I will not be complaining when I am, God willing, at that point. We are so ready to be over with that part in our lives, that we sacrifice our bodies natural rhythm to go into labor when the baby is ready. I know there are situations when inductions are needed, but I hear of people all too often of "wanting" to be induced at 39 weeks, because they are "big enough" or too uncomfortable. Well, I could think of at least 30 women currently with babies on my unit and many more before them who would give their right arm to be uncomfortable at 39 weeks with a big baby. Our gestational period as humans is 40 weeks, there is a reason for that. Yes, many babies do fine a few weeks before then, and no we don't want our babies overdone due to the complications that can be associated with that, but we use 40 weeks for a reason, its what's best for the babies! Isn't that what being pregnant is all about anyway, the baby?

Why is it so easy to lose tract of the miracle that has been going on inside of us for 40 weeks and just complain? We get to house a precious life for those 40 weeks, just us and the baby. Like I said, I am sitting here in my happy 25 weeks, mostly comfortable and feeling great, so I do have a biased, cheery disposition on the whole thing. But I have nothing to complain about. I have a wonderful husband who always supports me, my baby is healthy, I am in good health, and everyday I am one day farther, I am one day closer to meeting my baby. Every time I think something is awful or I feel "terrible" I just think of the women who would die to be in my shoes. There are far too many things that can go wrong to sit and think about them all day, but for me, knowing they exist and being thankful for where I am at in my pregnancy make these 25 weeks and 15 more to come that much more precious to me.

Baby Prep

Jordan and his guns!

Jordan has been working so hard on getting our nursery baby ready! It was a pretty boring room, and from the beginning before I knew what kind of theme, paint color, etc I wanted for the room, I knew I wanted a chair rail and maybe some wainscoting. So my wonderful husband had to get started on building it! I am against buying things straight off the rack apparently, so we had to "create" our own chair rail. So many things in the store are too traditional, or too ornate, or too frumpy for a nursery. We like simple, clean lines, so thats what I was going for. Easier said than done. But this is what we came up with! We still need to paint the new chair rail all white, and what is below it white also, but its coming together! The color on the top half of the walls I am still not sure about, so I've got to test out some paint colors once it gets a little nicer and we can have the windows open to air out the house when we are painting!

Our animals "helping" out

One of the best days so far in this baby prep is when we got our furniture delivery! Our animals were all about "helping" out when we got the furniture and couldn't stand to be out of the room as we were figuring out where to put it! I'm sure we are going to change it all about 90 times before the baby comes, but for now, we are just going to keep it where it is and see how we like it! Jordan had a fun time putting together the crib! It is so much better in person, in our house than it was in the store! I absolutely love the clean lines and simplicity of it! It will be perfect for a little boy or a little girl and that makes me so incredibly happy!

Our beautiful crib! 

There are so many more things to think about when it comes to getting a nursery set up and ready for a baby. I'm probably over-thinking it all, because after all, its just a baby's room, right? With all these perfect pinterest nurseries and blogs about how to make the best, most chic baby room around, its hard to keep up - especially when you don't know if you're having a boy or a girl! Its even more frustrating that all the stores sell stupid, tacky, themed bedding sets. I mean, people actually buy this crap! There are some seriously hideous themes, and the sad thing is, there are people that think they are cute! I don't want a specific theme and that makes it 100x more difficult to find things I like. I'm finding myself piecing together parts of different sets to make a simple and clean baby room! I have to keep telling myself that all this stuff won't really matter, but I still want it to be perfect and put together and wonderful for our sweet baby!

Its time for me to just take a deep breath, relax, and go with what is simple and easy to put together and make our baby's room perfect. It may not be "pinterest perfect" but who really cares? I don't have to prove anything to anybody, and my baby won't ever know a difference!

A baby on the way!

Soo Jordan and I are happy to announce that we are going to be parents!!!!!!

Our little bean at 8 weeks!

We are so incredibly excited, its hard to put into words our joy that we feel! We are due July 22nd and at the time I am writing this, we are 12 weeks along. It seems like we are just getting to the exciting, but scary point when we are realizing how much stuff we need to get ready to bring a baby into this world! Thankfully, we have great family support and great friends who can help us.

Speaking of family and friends....we had to tell them somehow. We found out a few weeks before Thanksgiving, so we decided to tell our parents and siblings that weekend. My dad (who will now be "pops" to our children) had a birthday that weekend. I got him the Dr. Seuss happy birthday book, and a birthday card from the baby! He opened it and it took a little bit for him to get it, but he did and him and my mom were very excited! We were up to see Jordan's parents the day after Thanksgiving. We had our pictures taken by the very talented Jessie Daam just after we found out and we had some fun with creative ways to announce that we were pregnant. We sent one by text to Jordan's mom and she squealed with excitement!


We waited to tell our Grandparents until after our 8 week ultrasound. We got to have an early ultrasound to confirm the baby was okay and to make sure everything was looking good because of my previous miscarriage. Look at our cute little blob of a baby, so perfect right? We went around and told all our grandparents that day. It was a very special day. We are so very lucky to have all 4 sets of our grandparents still alive to be great-granparents for our baby. Our baby will have 12 grand & great grandparents all together! What a blessing!

For our family and friends we made christmas cards to announce our pregnancy. For our extended family we sent very obvious cards. For our friends we sent less obvious cards that only had a subtle heart on the belly pic on it. There were a few people that caught onto it, but we aren't sure how many people got the subtle hint!

Today was also a pretty cool day. We had our 12 week appointment and it would be the first time we could hear the heartbeat, but our OB couldn't find/hear the heartbeat. Me being  a worry-wart was a little (or a lot) worried that she couldn't find anything. She was super calm about it and acted like it was no big deal. The good news about that, is that we got to have another ultrasound! It was super awesome, it actually looks like a baby now! It was squirming all around and was very active, which is probably why our OB couldn't find it very easy! It was sucking its thumb and was super cute! It made everything so exciting and we just can't wait for our next ultrasound and see our baby again. We are thrilled and cannot wait to meet our sweet baby in July!

Waiting game

Jordan and I have been hoping to start a family soon. I work in a unit and with people that is so baby focused that sometimes its hard to think about anything but "trying." A lot of the families that have babies in our unit have heartbreaking stories about how long they tried to have a family and have spent thousands on infertility treatments. Once they get pregnant, sometimes things don't go as planned and their baby ends up in the NICU. We obviously have babies there from all walks of life and not all couples with infertility problems have babies in our unit, but we do hear about it quite a bit. And that is just from the families that we work with.

Lets not count the 150 nurses that I work with who at some point started a family, and it seems like an in-proportionate number of my co-workers have had struggles of their own. And right now at work it seems like there is about 20 or so girls who just had babies, are currently pregnant, or are trying to get pregnant. It is everywhere! Babies, babies, babies! I like to think that I am not an anxious person, but to be honest I do have anxiety and tend to over-think. That poses a challenge when you want to try to have a family and be relaxed about it. Especially because everybody says that when you don't worry about it, it happens. And lets be real, I'm not worried about it by any means, but I definitely think about it quite a bit!

Another thing that doesn't help is that unfortunately last month, we had a miscarriage. It was early, about 6 weeks, but it still stings. They say you are more fertile in the months following a miscarriage, and I hope that holds true for us. It was our first month of tracking a few indicators of fertility, we conceived and were successful.

The real issue is the waiting game. For somebody who likes instant gratification and doesn't like to wait, there is a whole lot of waiting in the "trying to get pregnant" game. Wait until your period is over, wait until you ovulate, wait until your suppose to get your period so you can take a pregnancy test. Thats a lot of waiting! I have to say, we are having a lot of fun trying to get pregnant, so its not awful to wait. But when you were pregnant and had it in your mind and then it was gone and you have to wait again  for the next time to come around.

All in all, I am positive and hopeful that this will not take long and I am not consumed by constant thoughts. But dang, could the days go by any slower when the one thing you want you have to wait so many days to know if it will be this month or not?