Its mothers day this weekend and I've been doing a lot of thinking about what mothers day really is all about. It is a "made-up" holiday, but I think its very important at the same time. Its a day to be extra thankful for your mother and show her how much you care about her and show appreciation for all she does for you. I know my mom is pretty super and I'm pretty lucky to have her. Mothers day reminds me how awesome she is and how much I should probably thank her for all she does more often than I do.
All that being said, this year obviously I am pregnant. I have been out and about doing errands and people keep stopping me and saying, "Happy Mothers Day to the expectant Mommy." This usually starts a quick, causal conversation about due dates, first babies, etc. I absolutely appreciate the kind thoughts and wishing me a happy mothers day, but it just gets me thinking even more. This whole expectant mom thing on mothers day, especially the first time around I'm sure, is sort of an awkward thing for me at this point. I should probably not even think too much about this, but I can't help it, I'm me and thats what I do, over think things!
Now I am not denying that I am going to be a mother. Its just that at this point, its hard for me to picture myself as a mother currently. I wonder if that is just me, or if other pregnant women feel the same way. I very much so have an active little one that I know is fully living and would survive if it were born today (making me instant momma!). I am very aware of the baby items that are starting to accumulate in my house. We've been working on a nursery and planning our time off when our little one arrives. It just all seems too surreal to me at this point to actually think of myself as a mother, right now, in this current moment, for mothers day this weekend.
When is 'I'm going to be a mother' turn into 'I AM a mother?' For me I'm not sure that realization has happened yet. I am almost 30 weeks pregnant and I feel a little behind the eight-ball on this one. Am I totally off my rocker here, or is this normal preggo momma stuff? I am beyond excited for all the things to be coming, but maybe thats just it. I can only picture all these motherly things happening in the future still. The future is going to quickly change to the present quicker than I can ever imagine. Maybe with baby showers and having the nursery done and ready for a baby will make it more real. Nonetheless, I know its coming whether we're ready or not and I am beyond excited!
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