Another new life

This post was written the day we found out we are expecting baby #2! 

So today - September 19, 2014, we found out we are expecting our second little baby.

I'm a little - well, a lot - suprised! Thank God for Jordan being over the moon excited!

I've been feeling nauseous off and on since we've been in Oklahoma. I blamed it on the heat and the change in weather, allergies & just being in a new place. But this morning I was feeling good, went to take a bit of cheese that Evelyn was having, and I almost gagged on it. And I just thought....hmmm....lets just take that one test I have in the house. I don't usually just have pregnancy tests laying around. We weren't TRYING to get pregnant, so it wasn't like I was checking to see if we were pregnant every month. I'm not even sure why I had one in our cabinet actually.

Regardless, took the test and before the test was even done, there were two lines. I was SO SHOCKED! I mean, I didn't take that test expecting a positive result, I just figured I was being a silly girl. But nope. The positive line was almost darker than the control line, so I mean we.are.pregnant!

Then the panic set in. OMG we are in Oklahoma. OMG Jordan is in training. OMG we will have 2 kids under 2. OMG. OMG. OMG!

Jordan was of course at work and wasn't able to talk. I had to wait until he got home to tell him. When he got home he saw the positive test and was BEYOND excited! It took him about 30 seconds to think, OMG, and then he was pumped. He went back to work this afternoon and told everybody he saw that we were pregnant.

Its just so weird to think that this baby won't be born at a hospital I know like the back of my hand. I won't know all the doctors and nurses like I did at Bronson. We won't have all of our friends and family around. I have to let go of that, and know that this baby is meant to be. To get pregnant when we weren't trying is a blessing that we embrace and even though I am still shaking as I write this, we are so lucky to have this baby!

The last night of baby

Today was the last day my baby with be a baby. 

Well at least technically.

As I was putting her down to bed, I couldn't help but be a little sad. 

My little baby is a little toddler now. 

Our life has been a little crazy lately with a lot of things happening. 

My family suffered a terrible loss when my cousin recently died leaving behind her 3 week old son. 

Needless to say, everything that has been happening has made this time with my baby even more important to me. I don't want to take for granted any thing or any time with my girl. 

Snuggling her to sleep tonight I don't ever want to forget these moments. 

The way her even, easy breaths rise and fall while she snuggles into my chest. 

She always lays her head right over my heart. 

I twirl her hair in my fingers. 

I rub her back. 

She wraps her legs around my waist and snuggles in even more. 

I just can't believe a year has already passed. 

A year ago tonight, I was trying to convince myself I wasn't in labor, 

and that she would never come on her own. 

A short 8 hours later, our girl made her appearance. 

I just can't believe a year has already passed. 

My girl will be one year old tomorrow.

And I can't quite decide if I should be happy or sad. 

For now I guess its bittersweet.

Eleven.

Eleven is one less than twelve.

We are ONE month away from twelve months. My mind is having a hard time processing that.

We've had an eventful 11th month.

We went to church camp at Wesley Woods (more info on that in some other posts!)

We found out that we are moving to Oklahoma in about 3 short months.
Evelyn is SO close to walking. She practically jumps around when she is walking with us. She might just start running.
Speaking of running, she turbo crawls everywhere. Usually straight to the stairs that she recently discovered. She had never climbed them before and one day, she sprinted toward them and crawled right up the flight of stairs. I couldn't stop her because I couldn't quite believe my eyes.

We have embraced the "duck face" as one of Evelyn's favorite faces to make at people. 

She's pretty cute, even with a duck face! 

While at camp, my fellow co-nurse Judy, was the Labor & delivery nurse who helped deliver Evelyn. She was the one who initially took care of her, assessed her, and helped Jordan give Evelyn's first bath. She also scrubbed my sweet baby's head because of all the gunk that was stuck in her mounds of hair! It was great to see her and have time with somebody who is so fantastic and is such apart of our family story! 

 Evelyn is becoming a toddler, and a funny little girl. Her personality is continuing to make us laugh and love every minute with her. She is cuddly when she wants to be, and sassy when she wants something. She likes to study things around her, put things together and try to take things apart. She loves being around people and knows how to charm those around her. 

She truly lights up the room. 

Our days our getting busier with playing & swinging outside while chasing a turbo-crawling 11 month old around, but I wouldn't have it any other way. 

Here's to 11 months in the books, and hoping and praying this last month of my baby being a baby goes slowly so I can cherish every moment. 

Ten months have passed.

Ten months have passed since our baby girl changed our lives forever. 

What a ride these last ten months have been. 

Jordan and I have grown so much in our marriage, and we have been humbled  

by the opportunity to be Evelyn's parents. 

In month 10, we had so many great moments. The biggest of which is that we flew down to Alabama to bring Jordan back home! He is now a 2nd LT in the USAF!!! We are over the moon proud of him! 

It was Evelyn's second time on a plane and I couldn't have asked for a better flying buddy. I was a little worried because she's starting to get into the toddler phase when she doesn't sit still and has a 10 second attention span. I wasn't sure that she would sleep, or be okay with being on my lap for almost 2 hours from gate to gate. But, I was so surprised, she fell asleep and was such a good girl entertaining the people around us.

After we got back from Alabama, it was time to get used to being a family of three again! She loves having her daddy home and can't get enough of him! We have had many family snuggle sessions, hanging outside and going on walks. She has continued to grow and change right before our eyes. Her vocabulary of babbles and "words" is ever expanding, and her personality is so funny! She knows how to charm everybody around her, which is probably trouble for us some day! She is cruising up and down furniture and becoming more confident in her walking skills. She hasn't taken and steps by herself yet, but she is getting close to trying. She will stand by herself and practice her balance, it is so cool to watch her figuring the whole walking thing out. 

In these next two months we need to start planning her FIRST birthday party! 

We also have some changes coming to our family that will shift the way we live and where we live. 

We are excited to continue this ride of being Evelyn's parents!! 

Five Amazing Months

Just a few days ago my little babe turned five whole months. Seriously.

Evelyn's first Christmas was the highlight of her fifth month. But she seemed to change before my eyes over this past month.

I know I've said things are going by fast and I'm sure time will continue to go faster than I would ever choose it. But since I've been back to work, my days off go by at super-sonic speed. Everyday I work I barely get to see my girl, so my days off are even more important - and they are over too fast.

But enough sulking about time. I have to deal with the fact that she is constantly growing and changing and I've just got to enjoy the ride and soak up every. single. moment.

Look at that face. So Serious. That is an Evelyn face at its finest. And it made our Christmas card. The only picture on our card this year. What more do you need on a card to make you smile? That face sure does make me smile! 

Evelyn started playing in her jumper this month. She LOVES it!
She started SITTING on her own. Yes, seriously sitting. She just started doing it one day. I couldn't believe it. She is actually very sturdy and likes seeing the world from that point of view now!
She has found her voice. She is constantly making sounds. I wonder where she gets that from?!

Her first Christmas was great. We had many celebrations. With all of our grandparents it means lots of family get togethers and celebrations. The week of Christmas she had 3 days of presents!We celebrated our family Christmas on Monday, drove to Jordan's parents that evening. Tuesday was Christmas Eve and we were at my parents house to celebrate with them, then we celebrated with extended family and grandparents that night.  I had to work on Christmas Day, so it was up to Jordan to celebrate with her Christmas morning. Evelyn was busy and had so much fun with all her presents and family time!

Everyday it seems like I can see the wheels turning in her little head learning from the world around her. Watching her take the world in is magical. 

Happy 5 months baby girl!! 

Airports

Oh how I love airports....

I actually really do enjoy them.

I am sitting here waiting for the next flight to Detroit. The powers that be at Delta changed the times on some flights today and the flight I was originally going to be on was suddenly full. So now I wait for the next flight out. With a baby. Thankfully she is sleeping like a dream! Lets hope she stays asleep when we get on the plane, because lets face it, thats when it really matters.

But back to why I love airports. It is the best place to people watch.
Seriously.
Have you ever sat in an airport and looked around at all the people? There are people from all walks of life and many are quite entertaining.

Right across from me is a lady so hung-over that she looks like death. She fell asleep on the *super comfy* chairs, her friends left her with all their bags while they go walk around and she just woke up very, very confused.

There are people trying to act all fancy, like they are better than everybody else. Walking around looking down on everybody else. They are probably sitting in coach, in the back by the toilets. (Yes, I like to guess whether people are first class or not).

There are a couple fancy lookin guys in suits...isn't is Sunday? Why are they in suits? They must be very, very, VERY important.

Across the terminal from me is a restaurant. I know that some people have long lay-overs and such, but they never seem full or hardly have any customers, who eats there really?

I'm sure there are people judging me for being a lady traveling alone with an infant and wishing and hoping that I am not on their plane.

Overall, the airport is a fun place for me. I don't mind waiting. Even with a baby. I can walk around and see all sorts of people. The over-priced food and connivence stores crack me up, but I like going through and laughing to myself about the prices.

Its kind of like a fun challenge for me. Looking at what flights are available and which ones I can make. And then actually getting to the airport and seeing what I flights I get on. Some people really don't like this guessing game, but I for some reason love it. Maybe some day when my kids are older and we are traveling as a bigger family, I might like airports a little less. But, for now I'm going to roll with it and hopefully keep being spontaneous with trips and vacations. Life's too short to not live a little on the edge. 

2 months old!

2 months, happy in her crib! 

Sunday our wonderful daughter turned 2 months old. Many ups and many downs have come our way, but it has been an amazing ride. She has grown so much (although people say she is still "petite") and is coming more into her little personality. We have mastered going out to run errands with a baby. We have learned how to function on just a few hours of sleep. Evelyn continues to wrap Jordan around her fingers with each little smile and quality daddy time.

Evelyn and our pup Chloe have become very good friends. Chloe is never far away. She is always checking on Evelyn and needs to know where she is. She will come up and lick Evelyn all over and Evelyn just loves it! When its time to play on the floor Chloe comes right up and has to be in the action. I'm not sure if its all Chloe wanting to be around Evelyn or if its part Chloe needing more attention. Either way, I love seeing both of them enjoy each others company!

Best friends! 

Evelyn is really pretty funny. She has the best expressions. She talks to you through her eyes. She crinkles up her nose and does her little winks and just melts our hearts. I have about 30 videos each day capturing all here little facial expressions. I just can't believe how talkative she has become in the last few weeks. I mean, I kind of expected her to be a talker, and she might get that from me. Oh well. She's way cuter than I am and I'm sure she will have much more important things to say than I ever will! She has the quietest little voice that is learning a ton of new sounds. It amazes me every time she makes a new little sound, and she usually has a facial expression that goes along with it. I just smile and laugh, oh how it melts my heart.

She is just amazing. We have done so much in her 2nd month.
First trip to the hair salon
Slept {8} hours overnight!
Running with mom in the stroller
Spent a whole day with dad {mommy's day out}
Lunches with lots of mommy's friends
Started sleeping in my crib
Loving tummy time
My hair keeps getting thicker
                                 Smiling's my favorite
                                 I have a serious sad face with a big pouty lip!
                                 {how do they know the pouty lip already?}
                                 I'm not crying *quite* as much
                                 I love looking in the mirror
                                {Almost} grown out of newborn clothes!

I know I've said it before, and I'lll say it again. It has been the most amazing thing to be Evelyn's mommy. I can't quite believe how a little baby can change my life in such a short time. Every day I want to be a better person for her. I want to be the best example of a caring, giving, passionate, Jesus loving woman. I can't wait to see her personality continue to come out in little ways over the next month. She is an amazing little person. We have many changes coming in her next month as I head back to work, Jordan starts flying again and we'll have a babysitter coming to our home. It will be interesting to see how we all adjust to our "new" normal. I'll leave this post with one last smiley picture of our girl. We are so blessed!

This too shall pass

I'm sitting here on the first cool (cold!) fall evening rocking my sweet baby girl. She is having a bad evening. Some of our evenings (days) are like this, although I haven't quite figured out what brings all this on. I wish I knew so I could stop it before it starts, but not because I don't like the crying or because I'm tired. Its because I hate seeing her upset and in pain. I can tell she is hurting, but she just can't tell me exactly whats wrong. So we rock. And we rock. And we rock.

The best gift I got from our baby shower is my Moby Wrap. It has been a life saver. I can still be productive on days or evenings when my sweet girl wants to be held. I can go grocery shopping and strangers who think they can just come up and touch my baby and share their nasty germs with her don't think of reaching out with their grimy hands. I *might* be part germ-a-phobe, and this is just an added bonus of the wrap. But the biggest bonus of all is that my baby girl likes it. And I have to admit, I like it too. We get into quite a rhythm, dancing to songs in my head. She is up against my chest hearing my heart beat and listening to every breath I take. She feels safe and I feel like I can give her all she needs in those moments.

My sweet girl finally finds sleep. I'm not sure how long her peace will last, but I take refuge in those moments watching her eyes dance as she's dreaming. Her beautifully petite features stand out to me and I get to study her face. Sometimes I don't get anything done when she's sleeping because I don't want to wake her. I feel bad on those days when the dishes go undone, or the laundry doesn't get folded. But then I realize, this too shall pass. These days are fleeting and before I know it she will be wiggling out of my arms to go move on to her next activity. I want to soak up every little snuggle I can get. I enjoy these moments even if they come after a screaming fit. I will always love these moments. I love being her mommy.

The First Days

So here is our daughter....Evelyn June. She weighed 7lbs 4oz and was 20 in long! She came a whole week late, much to my dismay. Now, looking back I am very grateful she was a week late because that led to her being a very good nurser and she sleeps like a rockstar (*sometimes*).

The first day in the hospital was quite a blur of visitors, getting used to my numb leg and trying to wrap our minds around the fact that we have a daughter! After she made her quick entrance to the world she decided she wanted to let us know that she has a voice. She cried for about the first hour of her life! I thought it was great, I knew she would adjust to the world quite well! You have to have a voice to be heard as you grow up ( I might regret saying this later on). Jordan, the proud daddy, gave her a good first bath. He did such a good job with it being the first time he has really been around/touched a newborn baby!

When she first came out, we didn't really know what we were going to name her. We had a couple girl names narrowed down, but we wanted to get a good look at her once she was cleaned up and then we would decide. After studying her features and having some alone time with the three of us, we decided on Evelyn June. Evelyn we have always loved and it happens to be my pappy's aunt's name (my great-great aunt) and June was my great-grandmothers name. I was lucky to know my great grandma until she died when I was in high school, so naming our daughter after her has some extra special meaning to me!

After failing my first attempt to get out of bed (almost passed out), and getting more fluid and having a little more time in our labor & delivery room, we were moved up to our post-partum room! And boy did the visitors start coming then! My co-workers were excite to come up and visit us, as was family and friends. Evelyn is the first girl on either side of Jordan and I's families, so she is quite the hit, people were very excited to buy us clothes and other fun girl things!

Evelyn adjusted to eating and being in the world very well. Our first night in the hospital with her we were very anxious to get some sleep. It was Monday night and we had been up since Sunday morning at 9am! We had been running on adrenaline for 36 hours and were about to crash. With a little baby who wasn't quite full and would love to have a bit more in her belly than I was able to give her, we were SO thankful for the nursery and the nurses willing to watch over her for us while we rested!

Family of 3 heading home for the first time! 

The next morning we woke up and felt ready to take on the world (or so we thought!) My doctor came in and since things were going so well with me and with Evelyn, as long as the pediatrician approved Evelyn to go home, we were going to be home free that day! She was born early enough in the morning that 24 hours old for her worked out well for us to go home in the early afternoon. I was a little sad we weren't going to be able to use the nursery again that night to get one last night of good sleep, but I was sooo excited to get home and start figuring life out as a family of 3!

Evelyn in her car seat for the first time

We were so grateful for the quick & uneventful hospital stay enjoying family & friends visiting with our beautiful little daughter. We are absolutely smitten with her and just couldn't wait to start our life at home!

Well Done, Baby

So here we are 2 days after our due date, with no end in sight. Well we do have an eviction date set for next week, but no signs of our little bugger coming any sooner than that! It really isn't all that surprising that we have a bit of a stubborn baby who is happy where it is. Jordan and I are 2 of the most stubborn people I know, and of course our baby is following in our foot steps. Now, I know that babies rarely come on their due date, or before their due date for that matter. I know it is normal and great and perfect for a baby to come whenever they feel like it. Even knowing that, it is not the easiest thing in the world to wait. I thought last week was tough to wait through, this is a whole new game.

I have been taken off work for blood pressure trouble. So now that my house is cleaned for the thirteenth time today (its only 2pm), I am sitting around, waiting for time to pass and hopefully for this baby to come very, very soon. I am far more uncomfortable in the past week than I have been all pregnancy, but no changes are happening in my body to get this baby out. I am hoping and praying that it just happens really fast and my body will snap into action without any prompting! I want more than than anything to go into labor on our own without being induced, but it is discouraging that after 5 weeks of contractions and having a 'favorable' cervix 3 weeks ago, we now have an 'unfavorable' cervix with a baby happy where it is! It is just silly to be bummed about all this because I know the end is near, but it is more challenging for me than I expected it to be. I will be the first to say, I am not coping with all this well!

With all this waiting with nothing to do, I am trying to remind myself that in a few weeks, I will be begging for some time alone and for a moment to just do nothing. I have become very emotional and just all sorts of crazy, and I keep trying to remember how blessed we are and how very, very soon this will all be over and we will have a little baby. We have our house ready, our bags ready, now all we need is a baby. Every night I've prayed for relaxation for myself, to de-stress and to have my mind be calmed. I continue to pray that our baby is safe and will be healthy when its time to meet him or her. I am trying to find patience within myself to enjoy these last few days of this pregnancy, because soon I will have to share our baby with everybody, and I've really enjoyed having the baby all to myself the last 10 months. So for now, Jordan and I are going to try and keep our minds off all things baby. We'll have a date night, we'll go to the beach, we'll sit and snuggle and enjoy the quiet in our home. All too soon this calm will be over and we'll move on to the next stage of our life. I am so excited for that next step, but I do need to remember to enjoy the quiet, calm moments of now.

Showered with Love

Today was our first baby shower. Let me just say, that no amount of "thank you" "you're the best" or any other words can begin to sum up how I feel.

The GREAT Grandma's-to-be! 

It is absolutely un-comphrendable how much love was felt today. There are far too many people to list to say thank you, but just know that every person who played apart in today is forever sealed in my memory and I will be forever grateful for all you did for us. My mom, my "cousin-in-law" Carrie and my sisters, Katie & Michelle, went above and beyond my wildest dreams for an amazing baby shower! The setting was absolutely perfect for a shower at the Lawton Community Center, a quaint little museum/reception hall/banquet facility was so stunning. The food was amazing and the cake was to die for! The games were fun and everybody really enjoyed themselves from start to finish.

My beautiful bridal party almost 3 years later! 

So many people came from all parts of my life, with really means the most to me. All of my bridesmaids (& flower girl) were able to come, which brought back so many happy memories. Friends from work, family friends, lifelong besties, family, and grandmas all made the journey to come celebrate our new beginning as parents. Some others weren't able to make it for a variety of reasons and even though they weren't physically present, I know they were with us in thoughts and would have loved to join us had they been able to.

The Grandmas-to-be! 

The amount of gifts and love blew me away today. Seriously. And then I got home and it blew me away even more to see it all in our house. Jordan couldn't believe it when I opened up the back end of our car and he saw all the lovely things. But at the end of the day, and for many years down the road, we won't necessarily remember the gifts, but we will remember how much love we felt and how this day made us feel. In the end its not about the gifts, the party location, or the food, but its about family and friends coming together to celebrate a new little life! We are forever grateful for everything that everybody did for us today. I am still in shock that we are this fortunate to have so many people surrounding us with love at this time in our lives. So many things are going to change for us, but we know that our family and friends will always be there to love us and support us anyway they can. With this many happy feelings filling me up today, its crazy to think that we still have 2 more showers with more family and friends! My heart just might explode with gratefulness in the next month!

A Pregnant Mothers Day

Its mothers day this weekend and I've been doing a lot of thinking about what mothers day really is all about. It is a "made-up" holiday, but I think its very important at the same time. Its a day to be extra thankful for your mother and show her how much you care about her and show appreciation for all she does for you. I know my mom is pretty super and I'm pretty lucky to have her. Mothers day reminds me how awesome she is and how much I should probably thank her for all she does more often than I do.

All that being said, this year obviously I am pregnant. I have been out and about doing errands and people keep stopping me and saying, "Happy Mothers Day to the expectant Mommy." This usually starts a quick, causal conversation about due dates, first babies, etc. I absolutely appreciate the kind thoughts and wishing me a happy mothers day, but it just gets me thinking even more. This whole expectant mom thing on mothers day, especially the first time around I'm sure, is sort of an awkward thing for me at this point. I should probably not even think too much about this, but I can't help it, I'm me and thats what I do, over think things!

Now I am not denying that I am going to be a mother. Its just that at this point, its hard for me to picture myself as a mother currently. I wonder if that is just me, or if other pregnant women feel the same way. I very much so have an active little one that I know is fully living and would survive if it were born today (making me instant momma!). I am very aware of the baby items that are starting to accumulate in my house. We've been working on a nursery and planning our time off when our little one arrives. It just all seems too surreal to me at this point to actually think of myself as a mother, right now, in this current moment, for mothers day this weekend.

When is 'I'm going to be a mother' turn into 'I AM a mother?' For me I'm not sure that realization has happened yet. I am almost 30 weeks pregnant and I feel a  little behind the eight-ball on this one. Am I totally off my rocker here, or is this normal preggo momma stuff? I am beyond excited for all the things to be coming, but maybe thats just it. I can only picture all these motherly things happening in the future still. The future is going to quickly change to the present quicker than I can ever imagine. Maybe with baby showers and having the nursery done and ready for a baby will make it more real. Nonetheless, I know its coming whether we're ready or not and I am beyond excited!

The Ribs

Today was the first time I felt the baby in my ribs. What a wonderful feeling! Right? Right. Its a little shocking to me that I can feel that this early!

At first I wasn't really sure if thats what I was feeling. Our baby is very active and I feel lots of kicks throughout the day. But this was a different feeling. It was a dull pressure that didn't really kick or move away fast. It was just there. I thought it was just a random feeling. But sure enough, our little baby found a nice spot to lay right up underneath my ribs. At one point I tried to push in the area I felt the pressure to see if it really was the baby, well I certainly found out that it was. Our sassy babe kicked me right back at that moment as if he/she were saying, "excuse me! I'm trying to get comfortable!"

I just find it absolutely remarkable that the things other women talk about when they are pregnant are happening to me! I totally understand what a lot of them talk about with how cool it is to feel your baby move. There are really no words to explain it. Whether the moves are quick kicks, rolls, or hangin' out in the ribs, its just really cool. Its reassuring that everything is going as it should be, and it just constantly reminds you that you are carrying another human. That human depends on you for absolutely everything. And it will continue to depend on you to some degree for the rest of their life.

But I really would like to know how the baby finds the ribs this early. I am almost 28 weeks, and I can definitely feel the baby low. I feel pressure and I can feel little fluttery movements way 'down there.' So why is it already that I get this in the ribs? Is the baby really all that big/tall already? It just kinda blows my mind! It is kinda silly that I'm asking how big the baby, because I have taken care of many, many babies that are the size of my baby currently. I can literally walk onto my unit right now and find a couple babies that are the size of mine and just imagine how that would fit inside of me at this point. But even knowing that, and knowing that the baby really is getting bigger everyday, it is still amazing to me! I just can't wait to see what else the baby finds to mess with in the next 12 weeks!

The best days

It seems that life has a funny way of making you grateful for everything you have. 

There hasn't been one incident in particular that has really impacted me lately, there is just this little life inside of me, being a constant reminder of how precious and fragile life is. Like I talked about in an earlier post, I am very fortunate to have had the pregnancy I've had. I won't even begin to start down the list of why I'm grateful , but I just know that there are far too many things that can go wrong, and even though I am not out of the woods, I know that I am truly grateful for every healthy day that I do get. 

I've been thinking about all the destruction, death and hate that are going on in our world right now. I wonder if is much different than in the past. I mean I know that sounds a little silly because there are more ways it seems to easily kill massive amounts of people with one explosion. But how does living in such a technology centered world affect our perception of crime? We all know that big news stories about murders, wars and other bad things all get more air time. With every part of our lives being so accessible with a click of a button, I just wonder if we are just more aware of the evil that people can possess. I don't know, just a thought. 

And then I think about how blessed I am to have all the family and love I could have ever imagined. Seeing all these devastating stories on the news doesn't make me lose hope for mankind, it makes me think of the good that may come out of these situations. How people come together to help their neighbors and are more generous to each other. How people are influenced by a loved ones unexpected death and are moved to start a charity, or pledge to live their lives to the fullest because their loved one can't. People may be lead back to their religion, or volunteer more. I just think that sometimes you can't appreciate all the good in your life without realizing that there are awful things that can happen. 

Now I'm not saying that all these tragedies are good by any means. All I'm saying is that we need to all take a step back and see what good we can do without a tragedy. Why do we need something bad to happen in our lives, country or world for us to do good? Everyday I try to make the best of each day. I always try to go out and be happy and put a smile on somebody's face. I might make a fool of myself and be a little silly with things, but I don't see a reason to sit and feel sorry for myself for having a bad day. Sure, I have bad moments or times when I am stressed out and not acting as kind to my loved ones as I should, but I really try to stay positive and focus on the good in the world. I hope that other people can notice that in me and I'm not just blowing smoke up my own butt to make myself feel better about my outlook on life. 

Maybe I am infinitely happy that I am going to be a mommy and my husband is going to be the best daddy in the whole world to our little babe. Maybe I'm not quite right in the head (I know I'm probably not, but who is?). Maybe I just want to share a smile and make a difference in somebody's day. Maybe I am filled with so much peace because I know my Lord and Savior died for me and everyone else so that we can have a second chance. Whatever it is that is making me so happy, I'm just going to soak it up and enjoy it. There may be a day coming when I'm sleep deprived and my little babe won't stop screaming that I may find it hard to see the joy. But I pray that no matter my circumstance, I always will find happiness, love and joy in each and every day, because I know there are far too many people who wish they had one more day. 

Blood sugar test, Ack!

So, Jordan, baby and I have made it to 25 weeks! And, unfortunately the dreaded fasting blood sugar test. Around here, they do the "new & improved" blood sugar testing, which they say is a more accurate representation of gestational diabetics. I think its stupid. I think it 'captures' all these "gestational diabetics" who aren't really. I think it drives up medical costs. But thats just my opinion. I might be slightly biased because I have to be fasting for 10 hours and then sit there for 2 hours after I drink straight sugar mix. Who tells a 6-7 month pregnant lady that she can't eat? I mean c'mon, that just isn't nice. My test is at 730 am tomorrow, and I had to start fasting at 930pm. It is now 1030, and I am starving already and have some wicked heartburn. It will all be over in 12 hours, right? But seriously, enough complaining about an important test. It really is an important test, there are many women who have gestational diabetes and it is very serious, the babies can have multiple complications. But can't I just vent it out for a second?!

I honestly though should not even be complaining about taking this test. I've made it far enough in my pregnancy to have the privilege to take it. After all my belly-aching, then I call this a privilege, you probably think I'm a little crazy! (I am pregnant, after all!) At work every day, I am reminded of women who are not as lucky as I am to have a healthy pregnancy and face many complications. There have been many patients that I have taken care of whose mothers have not made it to 25 weeks to even take this test. I am so lucky to make it this far. There are far too many women in this world who deserve to have beautiful, wonderful, healthy pregnancies and have nothing but troubles. there are too many families who are heartbroken by infertility, miscarriage, fetal loss, stillborns, severe congenital defects, and many other complications. Jordan and I are truly blessed to have made it this far.

I know it sounds silly to keep saying, I've made it this far. It sounds a little odd to me too, but that's honestly how I feel. Everyday that passes and every time baby and I make it to another Monday, I think, "we've made it this far, look at how far we've come!" There are probably many women who realize what a miracle it is to have a baby inside of them, but fail to realize how lucky they are to be where they are at. I have seen the heartbreak of having twins at 23 weeks and only have 1 survive, only to have a long, uncertain road ahead. The sadness of going into spontaneous labor at any week before 37 weeks, it happens all too often. Maybe it really sucks that I know all these things can happen. Or maybe its God's way of keeping me grounded. Now, don't get me wrong, I have moments of feeling worn out, emotional, hungry (right now), but how can I deny how absolutely blessed I am to be where I am at. How can any woman who is pregnant deny that?

Our society is so focused on instant gratification that I feel like when some women get toward the end of their pregnancy, all they can do is complain and "want it to be over." I'm not saying those thoughts wouldn't cross my mind, I've never been to the end of a pregnancy before, but I sure as hell know I will not be complaining when I am, God willing, at that point. We are so ready to be over with that part in our lives, that we sacrifice our bodies natural rhythm to go into labor when the baby is ready. I know there are situations when inductions are needed, but I hear of people all too often of "wanting" to be induced at 39 weeks, because they are "big enough" or too uncomfortable. Well, I could think of at least 30 women currently with babies on my unit and many more before them who would give their right arm to be uncomfortable at 39 weeks with a big baby. Our gestational period as humans is 40 weeks, there is a reason for that. Yes, many babies do fine a few weeks before then, and no we don't want our babies overdone due to the complications that can be associated with that, but we use 40 weeks for a reason, its what's best for the babies! Isn't that what being pregnant is all about anyway, the baby?

Why is it so easy to lose tract of the miracle that has been going on inside of us for 40 weeks and just complain? We get to house a precious life for those 40 weeks, just us and the baby. Like I said, I am sitting here in my happy 25 weeks, mostly comfortable and feeling great, so I do have a biased, cheery disposition on the whole thing. But I have nothing to complain about. I have a wonderful husband who always supports me, my baby is healthy, I am in good health, and everyday I am one day farther, I am one day closer to meeting my baby. Every time I think something is awful or I feel "terrible" I just think of the women who would die to be in my shoes. There are far too many things that can go wrong to sit and think about them all day, but for me, knowing they exist and being thankful for where I am at in my pregnancy make these 25 weeks and 15 more to come that much more precious to me.

Baby Prep

Jordan and his guns!

Jordan has been working so hard on getting our nursery baby ready! It was a pretty boring room, and from the beginning before I knew what kind of theme, paint color, etc I wanted for the room, I knew I wanted a chair rail and maybe some wainscoting. So my wonderful husband had to get started on building it! I am against buying things straight off the rack apparently, so we had to "create" our own chair rail. So many things in the store are too traditional, or too ornate, or too frumpy for a nursery. We like simple, clean lines, so thats what I was going for. Easier said than done. But this is what we came up with! We still need to paint the new chair rail all white, and what is below it white also, but its coming together! The color on the top half of the walls I am still not sure about, so I've got to test out some paint colors once it gets a little nicer and we can have the windows open to air out the house when we are painting!

Our animals "helping" out

One of the best days so far in this baby prep is when we got our furniture delivery! Our animals were all about "helping" out when we got the furniture and couldn't stand to be out of the room as we were figuring out where to put it! I'm sure we are going to change it all about 90 times before the baby comes, but for now, we are just going to keep it where it is and see how we like it! Jordan had a fun time putting together the crib! It is so much better in person, in our house than it was in the store! I absolutely love the clean lines and simplicity of it! It will be perfect for a little boy or a little girl and that makes me so incredibly happy!

Our beautiful crib! 

There are so many more things to think about when it comes to getting a nursery set up and ready for a baby. I'm probably over-thinking it all, because after all, its just a baby's room, right? With all these perfect pinterest nurseries and blogs about how to make the best, most chic baby room around, its hard to keep up - especially when you don't know if you're having a boy or a girl! Its even more frustrating that all the stores sell stupid, tacky, themed bedding sets. I mean, people actually buy this crap! There are some seriously hideous themes, and the sad thing is, there are people that think they are cute! I don't want a specific theme and that makes it 100x more difficult to find things I like. I'm finding myself piecing together parts of different sets to make a simple and clean baby room! I have to keep telling myself that all this stuff won't really matter, but I still want it to be perfect and put together and wonderful for our sweet baby!

Its time for me to just take a deep breath, relax, and go with what is simple and easy to put together and make our baby's room perfect. It may not be "pinterest perfect" but who really cares? I don't have to prove anything to anybody, and my baby won't ever know a difference!

A baby on the way!

Soo Jordan and I are happy to announce that we are going to be parents!!!!!!

Our little bean at 8 weeks!

We are so incredibly excited, its hard to put into words our joy that we feel! We are due July 22nd and at the time I am writing this, we are 12 weeks along. It seems like we are just getting to the exciting, but scary point when we are realizing how much stuff we need to get ready to bring a baby into this world! Thankfully, we have great family support and great friends who can help us.

Speaking of family and friends....we had to tell them somehow. We found out a few weeks before Thanksgiving, so we decided to tell our parents and siblings that weekend. My dad (who will now be "pops" to our children) had a birthday that weekend. I got him the Dr. Seuss happy birthday book, and a birthday card from the baby! He opened it and it took a little bit for him to get it, but he did and him and my mom were very excited! We were up to see Jordan's parents the day after Thanksgiving. We had our pictures taken by the very talented Jessie Daam just after we found out and we had some fun with creative ways to announce that we were pregnant. We sent one by text to Jordan's mom and she squealed with excitement!


We waited to tell our Grandparents until after our 8 week ultrasound. We got to have an early ultrasound to confirm the baby was okay and to make sure everything was looking good because of my previous miscarriage. Look at our cute little blob of a baby, so perfect right? We went around and told all our grandparents that day. It was a very special day. We are so very lucky to have all 4 sets of our grandparents still alive to be great-granparents for our baby. Our baby will have 12 grand & great grandparents all together! What a blessing!

For our family and friends we made christmas cards to announce our pregnancy. For our extended family we sent very obvious cards. For our friends we sent less obvious cards that only had a subtle heart on the belly pic on it. There were a few people that caught onto it, but we aren't sure how many people got the subtle hint!

Today was also a pretty cool day. We had our 12 week appointment and it would be the first time we could hear the heartbeat, but our OB couldn't find/hear the heartbeat. Me being  a worry-wart was a little (or a lot) worried that she couldn't find anything. She was super calm about it and acted like it was no big deal. The good news about that, is that we got to have another ultrasound! It was super awesome, it actually looks like a baby now! It was squirming all around and was very active, which is probably why our OB couldn't find it very easy! It was sucking its thumb and was super cute! It made everything so exciting and we just can't wait for our next ultrasound and see our baby again. We are thrilled and cannot wait to meet our sweet baby in July!