New Year, New Beginnings

Hey, its 2016! 

What a year this will be! 

After a dismal 2 months following pilot training, I feel like life has started again. I've crawled out of the deep, dark hole that was the end of 2015 for me (dramatic, I know) and come out to a bright & shiny 2016! It truly is a year of new beginnings with a whole lot of new-ness in our lives. 

We bought our second home and closed just before Christmas, and we are so excited about it. We practically stole it, and it will support our family for years to come. If we choose, we never ever have to move again - it's that great! Stay tuned for posts regarding the re-decorating and my little projects going on. Because there will be a lot to do. Think victorian-ish bad, dark draperies - mixed with gaudy tropical decor, REALLY bad wallpaper choices (in a bathroom, huh?!) & a lack of cleaning capabilities makes for a lot of little projects spanning months. My list is long, but nothing is completely unlivable and I'm confident in my abilities to turn this house around and make it shine again! In the mean time, I will try my hardest to pace myself and stop trying to understand WHY somebody would have made these choices in a house that is only 10 years old. I'm stumped. But it will keep me busy and that is just what I need. 

 A mere 5 days after we moved into our house Jordan left again for more training. I know how hard it was for him to leave us in a new house, in a new town, not knowing the next time he'll be home before his training is done. The good news is that he's coming home this weekend, only 2 weeks after he left!! But really, these 2 weeks have been eye opening to me and have re-inforced, tested, and accelerated my skills of stay-at-home-momhood. All while still un-packing and organizing a new house with two little ones in tow. In-between naps and after bed just hasn't been enough time to get things organized in every room, do laundry, dishes & other household chores, while feeding kids and trying to not pull my hair out. I'm not trying to brag or anything, but aside from the unpacking thing, I've done a pretty darn good job of keeping us three girls sane. 

Did I mention we moved to a new town that we literally didn't know one person in? Yup, sounds sort of crazy, except we just did that when we moved to Oklahoma. So we're sort of pros at this whole thing. We're only 2 hours from family, so that is comforting, but sort of nice to have our own space. Don't get me wrong, I would LOVE to live close to our parents, but I'm totally okay where we are. I actually love it. I was nervous about becoming a 'metro detroit-er' (EEEKK did I say, Detroit?!) but I think we found an area that suits us perfectly and will be a great place for our family. We seem to be in a great neighborhood. Its winter in Michigan so everybody is hibernating and its tough to meet neighbors, but the few we've met have been really nice and tell us everybody else is nice too. I found a fun music class for the girls that is weekly, so hopefully through that we can forge some friends for the girls and for me as the weeks go on! 

There are an abundance of places for me to work around here and I'm looking forward to heading back to the workforce in some capacity. Not totally sure what that will look like, and even though I'm excited to engage my brain in other ways than reading Dr. Seuss and singing Daniel Tiger & Elmo jingles all day, I'm more sad than I thought I would be to head back. The hope is that I won't be full time and will still find a fulfilling role for me - hopefully in a NICU! We've found a great babysitter and have started to network some (by some I mean very, very little - but its a start!) which will hopefully lead to job possibilities and more friends for the girls and I.

Every year brings a new start as the calendar changes, but this year we are really epitomizing what it means to start new. I'm excited for just about everything in our new house and city. I'm ready for Jordan to come back home for good so we can really put our roots down and *hopefully* stay here a long, long time!

Happy New Year 2016!!!! 

Five Years of Our Beautiful, Real Life Love

Whelp, we made it to 5 years! Five whole years of marriage with my favorite human. 

Marriage is beautiful, challenging, uplifting, and ugly - sometimes all at once.


This has undoubtably been the hardest year of our marriage. This year at UPT has put outside stress on Jordan that he brought home every day for the last year with him. And by no means is that his fault the stress followed him home. I had my own adjustments and stress this year, that added to our difficult year. A year of extremely high expectations with tests, skill and mental 'games' - all to make him one of the best pilots in the world. And he's conquered that challenge and will walk across the stage next week, receiving his wings in the best Air Force in the world. The amount of joy I feel for him is unmeasurable - but thats another post! It is hard to talk about this year without mentioning UPT because it took over just about every part of our lives this past year.

With all the stress came ugly moments and moments that tested us. I found myself asking "when do I get my husband back?" more than once. I learned that I can handle way more than I ever thought I could. And that doesn't mean that was pretty. I was a mess, probably most of the time. I like to think I held it together all the time, but Jordan had the pleasure - and the unfortunate task of seeing me struggle through the year right next to him. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger is definitely true. But that doesn't mean its a fun, or an easy thing to live through. It actually really sucks.

What I've learned this year is that marriages aren't easy, but everybody knows that right?  Its choosing to love through the ugly - really ugly stuff sometimes. That choice is easy, but it doesn't make it easy to overcome all the ugly. There is no place I would rather be and no other person I would chose to go through the ugly with. My ugly consisted of selfish feelings, passive aggressive remarks, and begging for attention, much like a toddler. It wasn't pretty. Jordan did his absolute best and I have to say, sometimes I didn't feel like it was enough. But if he had more to give in those moments, I know he would have given it. Knowing his heart and understanding that it was killing him to not give everything to me and our girls, helped me cope with what I felt were inadequate days. I wish I could say it was easy, but it wasn't. I struggled through it. But now, maybe because he's seen all my ugly, I'm not scared of the ugly that will come our way in the future - I'm not sure any future ugliness will top this year.

But lets lighten things up. This year wasn't all ugly. We welcomed our sweet Natalie this year! When I say sweet, I mean really sweet. She is smily and happy just what our family needed this year. She is such  a joy and seeing Jordan with TWO little girls is just the best. He is the best daddy to them, and I know they brighten his world. I seriously can't believe that in 5 years of marriage we have transformed into a family of four! We moved across the country and made the best friends here in Enid, America who will stay with us for life. We've had a lot of fun along the way this year, so many fun fridays and celebrations.

I've seen Jordan conquer this year, putting all his focus into his career while balancing a family. He came home and gave all his attention he had and love to us, when it was easier for him to pull away from us and focus on training. I've seen how selfless my husband is and it encourages me to be my best for him. I'm not always at my best, and he loves me through my imperfections. I have learned so much about myself and our marriage and I am blown away by the strength of our love.


Love is so much more than the happy, butterfly touchy feely surface love. The choice to see each other through the ugly is what makes or breaks a marriage. It is easier to drift apart and have hurt feelings and focus on what you need when things get ugly. Its tough to push your feelings aside and know that when your spouse isn't or can't be their best, their heart is still yours and they need you more than ever in those moments. We are a team, and its important to support and give my all, even when its tough.

We have a beautiful life. We had a tough year. But I can honestly say I love my husband more than I ever have. I am proud of our marriage and who we have become together. I am not a perfect wife, but I am choosing my marriage and my husband every day. Looking back on our 5 years, we have come so far and I'm so excited for our family to continue to grow together, even through our challenges. Thank you Air Force for challenging our marriage in ways I could never imagined, and helping us come out of UPT stronger.

I love you more today than yesterday, but far less than tomorrow. Here's to our forever babe <3

Turning T.W.O.

Tomorrow I will no longer have a 1 year old. 

Our Evelyn is turning 2! 

I will have a big girl and a full-on toddler - as if I didn't before! 

Birthdays and dates don't have anything to do with developmental milestones and general toddlerhood. 

Evelyn was born with an attitude, but it has been amplified in the last few weeks. 

Looking back at this past year I get a mix of emotions. 

I am sad that she has grown so fast. 

I am excited to continue to watch her grow. 

I am in love with every ounce of her. 

I am proud of who she is becoming. 

I am anxious to know if we've done a good job raising her so far. 

Just after we moved, 14 months

We've moved across the country. 

She's been on at least 4 trips back to Michigan on planes. 

She's been to Florida on vacation. 

She gained a sister and {hopefully - eventually} a best friend. 

She has learned to be flexible with Dad's work schedule. 

She has made great friends. 

It's amazing how much they change in the course of a year when they are young. I swear from 1 year to 18 months was the biggest change to date. Her vocabulary flourished, she became more independent in most daily activities. She learned her likes and dislikes - and lets us know! 

From 18months-2years she has cemented in her earlier learning and continues to astonish me with the things she understands and learns on a daily basis. She has become our little parrot and often repeats anything we say. She picks up on things on television and from the world around her. 

I know how fast these two years have gone and I can only imagine it will continue to go fast. The days sometimes seem long with toddler tantrums and hours that seem to drag at times, but these years are going fast. Why do these early, precious years have to fly by? It seems like a cruel trick. Thank goodness for pictures and memories written down and captured in my memories. 

I look at my little girl and smile. I know she's happy and healthy and thats all I can really ask for. She brightens each day and makes me laugh. I never thought such a little person could have such an affect on grown adults, but she has us captured and I can't wait to see what she does next! 

One year missing you, Cassie

Today marks one year since my beautiful cousin lost her battle to Stevens Johnson Syndrome. 

She was 24 years old. 

She had a 3 week old son when she died. 

The circumstances around her death were shocking, sudden and are still surreal. Without going into too much detail, she was on an antibiotic and had a serious reaction. That reaction was initially not picked up on by doctors and led to her being admitted into the burn unit with severe skin peeling and blistering that acted like burns. Her body was trying its hardest to fight off the reaction. After giving birth just 2 weeks prior, she did not have the reserves a healthy 24 year old like her would normally have. 

Beautiful through the pain

She was treated as a burn victim and had her skin scrubbed raw to treat the blisters that overtook her whole body. She was wrapped in bandages and on a pain pump. She shook from the severe pain. The last week of her life she was away from the love of her life - her son Layne. She was in constant pain and still managed to crack jokes and smile at those that visited while loving on her son as much as she could. She touched every one of the nurses that worked with her. She inspired me with her strength and will to carry on. 

Her story is so much more than how she died, and I only offer a small window into her life. Talk with her close friends, sister, or mom and they will paint an even brighter picture of my beautiful cousin. 

She was my first girl cousin. We grew up at my Nana and Pappy's house. Swimming and go-carting and playing with our younger sisters and older boy cousins was our fun. I have fond memories of playing with her and her sister at their dad's house for what seemed like every weekend. She was happy and she was so fun.

She was a free spirit and loved The Beatles. She requested to listen to them 24/7 when she was in the hospital. She was a hippie girl and lived care-free while loving everybody. She always knew how to share her happiness with those around her. In more recent years we grew apart, but at family gatherings we always talked and her spirit always filled the house with laughter and happiness. 

I will never forget the day she died. I was at work and on my way in I talked with my mom & aunts and was happy to hear she made it through the night. The night prior she had taken a major turn for the worse, and making it through the night was iffy. I  headed into work and got a text about 5 minutes after report that I should head over and check things out. I talked with my aunts, and then I was able to head back to the unit and talk to some of the nurses. I guess thats the benefit to having hospital scrubs on. 

I could tell things were dire by the amount of people in her room managing pumps and alarms. I stood outside her room at the nurses station and asked a different nurse how things were. Not like, hows her day going, because I knew it wasn't good, but like should I be here, or am I okay to go back to my unit and work? I'll never forget her eyes when I asked her that. She had the saddest look in her eyes and thats when I knew. The crash cart wasn't outside her room for "just in case" it had already been used that morning. 

I practically ran back to the other side of the hospital to my unit and could barely get the words out. My charge nurse was so kind and thankfully we had an extra nurse on that day. I didn't even give report to the nurse taking over for me. I grabbed my things and ran back the other way with tears running down my face. 

The rest of the morning is a blur. She kept coding and then coming back. She was fighting so hard. She was not going to give in no matter how many times she coded. She had endured so much pain in the week prior and it kept continuing. In the waiting room our whole entire family had gathered - minus my nana & pappy who were hurrying back from their vacation in Minnesota. Hospital staff and friends brought food and we took over the whole waiting room. We sat in silence, we cried, we hugged and we waited. We waited and prayed for her to make it and to pull through. It was almost unbearable to look at Layne and imagine his future potentially without his mother. 

It was a heartbreaking few hours. 

I'm not sure the time or what exactly transpired in the immediate time around her death, but I know her mom and dad were close with her when they let her go peacefully. 

The only comfort is knowing how much excruciating pain she was in, and now she is pain free. 

The rest of everything was/is far to painful to fully comprehend. 

Her young life cut short,

Her brand new baby without a mother, 

Her sister lost her only sister and best friend,
Her brother lost his sister, 

Her mother has one less child here on earth, 

and we are all left without a very important person in our family.

 I know this has not been as earth shattering as it has been for her mom, sister and brother, along with my grandparents, but my heart is still in shock that this actually happened. I was not the closest family member to her, and I don't pretend to be. But with a family like ours and as close as we all are, it tore me up. I watched my nana and pappy bury one of their grandchildren, my aunt struggle every day with grief, and my cousin Trisha is left without her best friend & sister. 

Its not fair that this happened to such a bright spirited girl, our girl, Cassie. We will never understand all the factors that led to her death and truthfully, it doesn't change our loss and it won't fix our sorrow if we knew every detail. It was a very unfortunate, tragic set of circumstances that led to the loss of life, and we will never be the same. 

Cassie's beautiful spirit is with all of us, and most importantly with her son, Layne. 

We have a piece of her on this earth and he will be reminded daily of his brave, strong momma who didn't stop fighting for him. 

We love you and miss you forever Cassie! 

One.Month.Old

I'm a couple days late! Our sweet Natalie is one month old!

We have had quite the month!

We brought Natalie home on a Thursday afternoon and that evening it started raining. And it didn't stop. It literally did not stop raining until late Monday. It rained for four days straight. Record rainfall in Oklahoma. It rained so much it pulled the whole state out of a four-year-long drought. Something like 19in of rain in the month of May - and most of it was that weekend. Now why have I mentioned all this rain? Well if you know what its like to take a newborn home - slightly chaotic - and be stuck inside the house with an almost two year old it made us all a little crazy!! But our sweet Natalie was a trooper through all that crazy. For the most part, she was a mellow happy baby that weekend who was figuring this whole being in the world thing out!

Natalie's first week or so home we spent time outside [after the monsoon rains stopped!], visited the pool for big sister, ventured out to dinner, and thoroughly enjoyed our Natalie.

She is quite the [welcomed] opposite of her sister - at this newborn stage at least! She has a lot of nice quiet awake time, she only wakes up once or twice at night [most nights!], and she is pretty relaxed. She does have some reflux trouble and isn't always happy after mealtimes, but that is quite minor compared to what we dealt with when Evelyn was a newborn.

We had great visitors in Natalie's first month. My parents came down when she was about 2 weeks old and stayed for a whole week. My sister Katie was able to come over from Nashville and hang out with us too! We went to explore the Oklahoma Salt Plains and the OKC Zoo. I bawled like a baby when my mom & dad had to leave us!

Jordan's parents came down the following week along with his sister Megan & her boyfriend Caleb. We hung around Enid and they took in all the sights & sounds of living on a busy Air Force base. We hung out at the pool a bunch while Grandma got to spend time with Natalie inside (it was 95 & humid all weekend!)

We were certainly blessed by our family making the long drive to meet Natalie and visit with us!

This month went by in the blink of an eye and I'm sure the months will continue to move quickly past us.

Natalie's sweet smiles & her sweet personality bring me so much joy. She is starting to find her little voice and having even more awake time. I can't wait to watch her continue to grow and change as the months go by. She is just a bundle of love!

Love you sweet girl! 

[Another] Beautiful Pregnancy

I had to share and make a special post about our maternity family photography session. One of the coolest things about living on base is that people come from all over the country and bring their talents with them. I was lucky enough to meet a fantastic photographer who is a fellow pilot spouse who is oh so talented. She had the right vision for us and I am so glad we chose her to capture this moment in our lives. Thank you Abbey Leigh {Roberts} Photography! 

Since we are at UPT and that only happens once in a lifetime, we chose to take pictures out on the flight line with the T-6, one of the planes Jordan trained on, and I LOVE the way they turned out. The evening we took pictures was a bit chilly, windy and had some storm clouds trying to roll in, but it set  the perfect tone and we got great pictures.
It was absolutely perfect.

I also really wanted some pictures that were true to Oklahoma and had a bit of that country, wide open spaces feel that surrounds us here. Our photographer found a cute barn & gorgeous wheat field to capture the perfect pictures (yes, she had permission to use that property!) The results were great! The clouds and the wind made for the perfect dramatic setting! 

So in love!! 

Pregnant.

Written 4.22.15

This pregnancy is almost done. How is that even possible? I know I'm busy with a toddler this time around, but seriously - how are we 35 weeks pregnant this week?! I haven't taken as much time as I did when I was pregnant with Evelyn to enjoy and soak up the pregnancy. I have enjoyed being pregnant this time around just as much, but its so different. I have nothing to complain about - just some typical heartburn and the usual aches of growing a human. She has been so good to me and I can't be more excited to meet her.

There have been more questions this time around for me. Maybe its because we're away from our families and in a different state, away from the hospital and doctors that I knew so well. But I think my biggest sense of questions and 'fear of the unknown' is the fact that we are flipping Evelyn's world upside down and she doesn't even know it. Its not that I'm sad for her, I'm super excited she will have a sister so close in age. But I worry about the adjustment. I can ask my friends and family who have more than one kiddo and everybody will have a different response of how it went for them. And truthfully, some have horror stories and I don't care to hear them. I don't need to be more worried than I already am.

I am so confident in my ability to care for an infant that with Evelyn I didn't have the 'fear of the unknown' feelings. I knew what to expect for the most part. I taught families how to take care of their infants on a regular basis at work, and I had seen many friends take babies home. The baby thing is easy for me. And this time around I'm still not worried about the baby stage. A little newborn is comfortable to me and I find comfort and solace thinking about taking care of a baby. Taking care of a toddler AND  baby - now that scares me some.

This whole toddler world is so foreign to me and I worry about navigating this unknown toddler landscape. Every week - heck every day - seems to be a different phase, or a different battle, and definitely a different mood. No day is predictable and while that is fun, I wish I knew more about navigating this toddler world. I am constantly wondering if I'm doing the 'right thing.' Am I teaching her enough? Am I missing anything? Is this stage/phase/milestone normal? Is she suppose to be this sassy?!

I think about the change from a family of three to a family of four. With one kiddo, yes, our world is different and we are living in a toddler tornado, but for the most part we can bring her along with us, and after the initial shock of having a person to take care of, the adjustment was pretty darn easy and felt so normal. Will this transition feel as normal? This unknown is a major source of stress for me when I dwell on it for too long. I'm good at that - dwelling on thoughts that I have no control over. I've heard people talk about the difficult transition from one to two children, so I might have some justification in these thoughts, but I know I shouldn't dwell too long.

I need to trust the process and trust that we have given, and will continue to give, Evelyn enough love and grace to get through this adjustment. Although I have been occupied with our toddler tornado and thoughts of the transition to come, I have been blessed by a beautiful, wonderful pregnancy and I am so grateful for that. This may be our biggest challenge as a family to date, and we may not have any clue what is about to hit us, but I am confident in our family and I know we are capable of welcoming this little girl into our lives with as much love and excitement as we welcomed Evelyn.

Did I mention we only have 5 weeks left?!

Solo Day!!

Today was a big, big, BIG DAY! 

Jordan did his first Solo in the T-6 today!!!

For those unfamiliar with what that means, he was cleared by his instructor pilot (IP) to take control of the plane all by himself. For some million dollar aircraft, its kinda a big deal! Its the first big milestone in his flying career with the Air Force. 

Switching of the Badges 

The solo is a two-part flight. The first part he goes up with his IP (the same one who he did his first ride with) who basically checks him off and gives him the clear that he is trustworthy in the aircraft and ready to fly on his own. They land and come back to the parking areas. The IP hops out of the back of the airplane and Jordan gets himself all ready for the second portion of the flight - all by himself! 

As a flyer in the Air Force, you have to have wings. Since Jordan is in training, his IP carries the wings and he cannot fly a plane without wings (on their name badges).  His IP  has to trust Jordan enough to lets him borrow his wings for the flight. That must be a nerve wracking time for the IP's, but I'm sure Jordan gave them plenty of reason to trust him! 

Nap time! 

I was able to be out on the flight line and take pictures of the exchange of name badges & see Jordan just before he took off for the second portion of his flight, escorted by our neighbor & Jordan's classmate. We went back to their flight room and listened to him on the radio, while he flew around for about 40 minutes by himself. Evelyn decided she was a bit tired and wanted to lay down on the flight room floor! She was a trooper, this was all happening during her morning nap! 

As he landed, we headed back out to the flight line to see him taxi back to his parking spot. 

Evie & I were able to hop up to him in the plane and take pictures
(thanks to our escort Matt & our friend Kelly!). 

He was so excited and it was so great to see that big smile on his face.

Since getting back to Oklahoma after Christmas our family has dealt with Evelyn battling influenza, me a terrible sinus infection & Jordan an ear infection. He was unable to fly for 10 days because his ears were plugged and he was at risk to rupture his ear drums if he tried to fly. It was a very frustrating time for all of us, but mostly Jordan who saw most of his buddies solo before him while he had to sit and wait to get better. 

Today was refreshing in that things are on course and things can only go up from here! The weather is warm - mid 60's in January, and for the next 4 days or so. Jordan is back on track with his flying & we are getting closer and closer to meeting our new baby girl! 

We are so proud of you Jordan!!

(This post was written on Friday, January 16th, the day of the solo!) 

Holidays at Home

What an eventful start to our New Year! We had a great visit home to Michigan until the last day or two, when Evelyn came down with the start of Influenza...

Our sick girl :(

We made our trip back home and then Jordan and I fell victim to viruses. Evelyn spent 5 days with a fever & we ended up in Urgent Care on New Years Day. I came down with a  terrible sinus infection that was teetering on an ear infection with terrible pain, and Jordan got an ear infection that grounded him. Literally. He couldn't fly for about 10 days. It was miserable. On top of that, Evelyn is getting her bottom eye teeth (they are almost in as I type this!) and I think she's having a major growth spurt. So even though she isn't sick anymore, our 12 hour a night sleeper is up for hours at a time, uncomfortable and crying. Whatever craziness is causing this awful sleeping pattern we are ready for it to be over! I know its just a phase and it will end soon, but the sleep thing has got to get better soon! And not to mention, it isn't super fun to see your kiddo uncomfortable and you can't do much about it. Either way, its just a phase, right?!

So back to the holidays. We had a great trip back home to Michigan. Evelyn did great in the car and we couldn't have asked for better weather, in December, driving across the country! We got to my parents house on Christmas Eve afternoon & had a great dinner with my grandparents. We went up to Jordan's parent's house in Grand Rapids on Christmas afternoon and the next 2 days were a total blur of family & fun. We went to Jordan's Pop & Grams Christmas afternoon, then spent the evening celebrating with his parents. We spent the night with his parents, and the next morning we celebrated with the extended Spaans side. That same day, we came back to my parents house and celebrated Christmas with them. Then we headed over to celebrate with the Shoemaker side of the family in the evening. Whew, even just typing that makes me tired all over again! We were able to see everybody (expect the Hamilton side who is in Florida for the winter, we did FaceTime with them though!) and even though it was quick, we made it happen!



















The weekend after Christmas we had a little bit of down time to relax before Evelyn got sick. We saw some friends, ate at places we missed dearly, and I got my hair done! We had plans on our last full day at home to see more friends and soak up the last bit of family time that we could, but Evelyn was up almost all night and we all needed a day to recover from that! Thankfully she slept enough the night before it was time to head back to Oklahoma! Our drive back to Oklahoma was fairly uneventful. We did the trip in one {long} day, but we all survived and slept in our own beds, which was an amazing feeling after a week of being away. It didn't seem like we were gone a week, but with the driving days and illness, it flew by!

Its so crazy that this was our first year being away from family during the holiday season. We were lucky enough to be able to get home and see everybody so it didn't really seem like we were actually away. It was great to see everybody, but was super exhausting. I'm hoping in the coming years as we add to our family and get settled back in Michigan, that it will be an easier routine for Christmas gatherings. Its a great time to see family and we wouldn't trade it for anything, but its easy to get caught up in the gift giving & miss the point of what Christmas is all about. My hope is that we can still see everybody and celebrate the true meaning of Christmas, but just maybe not all in 2 days! We have large families that make the holidays so much better but also add more things to do during a busy time of year. I'm looking forward to the coming years as Evelyn & our future babies get to enjoy the magic of Christmas through their little, sparkling eyes.

Another new life

This post was written the day we found out we are expecting baby #2! 

So today - September 19, 2014, we found out we are expecting our second little baby.

I'm a little - well, a lot - suprised! Thank God for Jordan being over the moon excited!

I've been feeling nauseous off and on since we've been in Oklahoma. I blamed it on the heat and the change in weather, allergies & just being in a new place. But this morning I was feeling good, went to take a bit of cheese that Evelyn was having, and I almost gagged on it. And I just thought....hmmm....lets just take that one test I have in the house. I don't usually just have pregnancy tests laying around. We weren't TRYING to get pregnant, so it wasn't like I was checking to see if we were pregnant every month. I'm not even sure why I had one in our cabinet actually.

Regardless, took the test and before the test was even done, there were two lines. I was SO SHOCKED! I mean, I didn't take that test expecting a positive result, I just figured I was being a silly girl. But nope. The positive line was almost darker than the control line, so I mean we.are.pregnant!

Then the panic set in. OMG we are in Oklahoma. OMG Jordan is in training. OMG we will have 2 kids under 2. OMG. OMG. OMG!

Jordan was of course at work and wasn't able to talk. I had to wait until he got home to tell him. When he got home he saw the positive test and was BEYOND excited! It took him about 30 seconds to think, OMG, and then he was pumped. He went back to work this afternoon and told everybody he saw that we were pregnant.

Its just so weird to think that this baby won't be born at a hospital I know like the back of my hand. I won't know all the doctors and nurses like I did at Bronson. We won't have all of our friends and family around. I have to let go of that, and know that this baby is meant to be. To get pregnant when we weren't trying is a blessing that we embrace and even though I am still shaking as I write this, we are so lucky to have this baby!

Things in OK

I have the urge to give a little update today, so here it goes for all who are curious!

We have met some of the most amazing people since we've been here. It was easy for Jordan to meet people while he was at school, but for me I was a bit worried about meeting people in those first few days. Much to our surprise, we have FABULOUS neighbors! Evelyn and I were outside playing on the front patio and our neighbors walked by with their little girl who is the same age as Evelyn! It has been such a blessing to have them right next door. The nights when Evelyn is ansy, we can head on over and the girls can play for a bit. 

It has been so good for Evelyn to be around more kids her age down here. She is a little timid in social situations when there are a lot of kids (definitely more like her dad!) but she has slowly been getting better and more adventurous. We have been busy with hanging out with our friends and doing play-date activities. Enid surprisingly has a large number of stay-at-home moms and has quite a few {good} resources for us. Local churches have MOPS groups, our pilot group has a large mom group, & there are a ton of parks around! Our days are for now are filled with two naps for Evelyn (still!!!!), parks, homemade dinners & playing with our friends.

Somedays, well honestly most days, I miss working. But these days spending time with our ever-changing Evelyn have been priceless. I will head back into the workplace soon enough and I have to remind myself of that and to enjoy the time I have at home with our sweet girl.

We have been so blessed by everyone we have met so far, and can't wait to continue to meet new people and have new experiences in Oklahoma. I still can't always believe that we live in Oklahoma and are so far away from home. But what they say is true, "home is where the Air Force takes you!" 

Our First House

Today we closed on our first house. I know we moved out the other day, and honestly these last few days our stuff has been out of it has made me disconnect from it. But its still our first house. We put a lot of work & love into this house and we are sad to not finish all the projects we dreamt about. I love these pictures of the changing house now more than ever.

Moving In! May 2011

Fall 2012

Fall 2013

August 2014

 We went back today to drop off our garage door openers and to say goodbye one last time, and I was a little sad standing in Evelyn's room. I spent many late nights and early mornings in that room with our sweet girl. Jordan slaved away putting up the chair rail and we spent so much time in there. Our bedroom doesn't feel the same, and the house just seems like a shell for what it held -  which is really how it should be. But there are still so many memories in that house for us, and we will always cherish those.

Evleyn's Room After! 

Evelyn's Room Before

Kitchen Before

Kitchen After! 

We met the people buying our house today and they seemed like wonderful people. They are just pregnant and will love the house like we did. They were the first people to see the house and are very excited about it and said no other house compared to our house. That made me feel really good that they will enjoy it as much as we did. I guess thats all you really want when you say goodbye to your house and the hard work you put into it.  You want somebody else to appreciate what you did there. And I think they do, and will make it even better.

Walking up those steps today was familiar and comfortable, but now its time to step outside our comfort zone and take an adventure. Goodbye Wheatlands house.