3 years ago

Today Jordan and I celebrate 3 years of marriage!

I CANNOT believe it has been 3 years. As I'm writing this, I am back to that beautiful fall day on that October Saturday...

My girls were there for me all day to help calm my nerves, and I couldn't have asked for better people to be with that day. We got to the church and even though I have no idea what Jordan was up to, I knew he was probably feeling the same way I was. Excited. Nervous. Happy. The day that I dreamed about since I was a little girl was upon me. Would it live up to my expectations? I can't believe I ever wondered if it would live up to expectations...I was completely blown away.

I remember waiting in the back of the church as one by one, my girls left me. Then it was me and my daddy. Waiting for the doors to open when I would see the man of my dreams waiting for me. That moment was unforgettable. I couldn't take my eyes off that man. My man. My dreams were coming true, and I couldn't be any happier.

The church was the perfect setting. Its what I pictured our wedding like. A big, grand BEAUTIFUL church.

Our day was perfect. There is no other way to describe it.

October 16, 2010 was so much more than my dream wedding. It was the day I made a promise to my best friend in front of God, family & friends. Marriage is not an easy road and there can be daily challenges. But I look at Jordan every day and am so thankful for the strong, humble & loving man that I get to spend my life with. He loves me through my faults and mistakes. He is patient with me when I struggle. He understands my heart and I understand his.

Today we celebrate our love multiplied through our daughter. The day she was born, I fell deeper in love with Jordan.  Seeing the way he interacts with her makes my heart melt. He is so tender with her. Today is a day to watch our wedding video and to cherish each other a little more. Its a day to be thankful for our life together as a family of 3. And its a day to look forward to our future together.

Today also marks the end of my maternity leave and the beginning of our new routine with babysitters and work. I am very sad about having to leave my baby girl tomorrow, but today I am going to snuggle. I'm going to snuggle with Jordan and Evelyn and remember our wedding day. I am thankful for the last 3 years of marriage with Jordan and the last 11 weeks with Evelyn. We have a blessed life and I look forward to many, many more years.

 I love you more today than  yesterday, but far less than tomorrow.

The best days

It seems that life has a funny way of making you grateful for everything you have. 

There hasn't been one incident in particular that has really impacted me lately, there is just this little life inside of me, being a constant reminder of how precious and fragile life is. Like I talked about in an earlier post, I am very fortunate to have had the pregnancy I've had. I won't even begin to start down the list of why I'm grateful , but I just know that there are far too many things that can go wrong, and even though I am not out of the woods, I know that I am truly grateful for every healthy day that I do get. 

I've been thinking about all the destruction, death and hate that are going on in our world right now. I wonder if is much different than in the past. I mean I know that sounds a little silly because there are more ways it seems to easily kill massive amounts of people with one explosion. But how does living in such a technology centered world affect our perception of crime? We all know that big news stories about murders, wars and other bad things all get more air time. With every part of our lives being so accessible with a click of a button, I just wonder if we are just more aware of the evil that people can possess. I don't know, just a thought. 

And then I think about how blessed I am to have all the family and love I could have ever imagined. Seeing all these devastating stories on the news doesn't make me lose hope for mankind, it makes me think of the good that may come out of these situations. How people come together to help their neighbors and are more generous to each other. How people are influenced by a loved ones unexpected death and are moved to start a charity, or pledge to live their lives to the fullest because their loved one can't. People may be lead back to their religion, or volunteer more. I just think that sometimes you can't appreciate all the good in your life without realizing that there are awful things that can happen. 

Now I'm not saying that all these tragedies are good by any means. All I'm saying is that we need to all take a step back and see what good we can do without a tragedy. Why do we need something bad to happen in our lives, country or world for us to do good? Everyday I try to make the best of each day. I always try to go out and be happy and put a smile on somebody's face. I might make a fool of myself and be a little silly with things, but I don't see a reason to sit and feel sorry for myself for having a bad day. Sure, I have bad moments or times when I am stressed out and not acting as kind to my loved ones as I should, but I really try to stay positive and focus on the good in the world. I hope that other people can notice that in me and I'm not just blowing smoke up my own butt to make myself feel better about my outlook on life. 

Maybe I am infinitely happy that I am going to be a mommy and my husband is going to be the best daddy in the whole world to our little babe. Maybe I'm not quite right in the head (I know I'm probably not, but who is?). Maybe I just want to share a smile and make a difference in somebody's day. Maybe I am filled with so much peace because I know my Lord and Savior died for me and everyone else so that we can have a second chance. Whatever it is that is making me so happy, I'm just going to soak it up and enjoy it. There may be a day coming when I'm sleep deprived and my little babe won't stop screaming that I may find it hard to see the joy. But I pray that no matter my circumstance, I always will find happiness, love and joy in each and every day, because I know there are far too many people who wish they had one more day.