Five Years of Our Beautiful, Real Life Love

Whelp, we made it to 5 years! Five whole years of marriage with my favorite human. 

Marriage is beautiful, challenging, uplifting, and ugly - sometimes all at once.


This has undoubtably been the hardest year of our marriage. This year at UPT has put outside stress on Jordan that he brought home every day for the last year with him. And by no means is that his fault the stress followed him home. I had my own adjustments and stress this year, that added to our difficult year. A year of extremely high expectations with tests, skill and mental 'games' - all to make him one of the best pilots in the world. And he's conquered that challenge and will walk across the stage next week, receiving his wings in the best Air Force in the world. The amount of joy I feel for him is unmeasurable - but thats another post! It is hard to talk about this year without mentioning UPT because it took over just about every part of our lives this past year.

With all the stress came ugly moments and moments that tested us. I found myself asking "when do I get my husband back?" more than once. I learned that I can handle way more than I ever thought I could. And that doesn't mean that was pretty. I was a mess, probably most of the time. I like to think I held it together all the time, but Jordan had the pleasure - and the unfortunate task of seeing me struggle through the year right next to him. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger is definitely true. But that doesn't mean its a fun, or an easy thing to live through. It actually really sucks.

What I've learned this year is that marriages aren't easy, but everybody knows that right?  Its choosing to love through the ugly - really ugly stuff sometimes. That choice is easy, but it doesn't make it easy to overcome all the ugly. There is no place I would rather be and no other person I would chose to go through the ugly with. My ugly consisted of selfish feelings, passive aggressive remarks, and begging for attention, much like a toddler. It wasn't pretty. Jordan did his absolute best and I have to say, sometimes I didn't feel like it was enough. But if he had more to give in those moments, I know he would have given it. Knowing his heart and understanding that it was killing him to not give everything to me and our girls, helped me cope with what I felt were inadequate days. I wish I could say it was easy, but it wasn't. I struggled through it. But now, maybe because he's seen all my ugly, I'm not scared of the ugly that will come our way in the future - I'm not sure any future ugliness will top this year.

But lets lighten things up. This year wasn't all ugly. We welcomed our sweet Natalie this year! When I say sweet, I mean really sweet. She is smily and happy just what our family needed this year. She is such  a joy and seeing Jordan with TWO little girls is just the best. He is the best daddy to them, and I know they brighten his world. I seriously can't believe that in 5 years of marriage we have transformed into a family of four! We moved across the country and made the best friends here in Enid, America who will stay with us for life. We've had a lot of fun along the way this year, so many fun fridays and celebrations.

I've seen Jordan conquer this year, putting all his focus into his career while balancing a family. He came home and gave all his attention he had and love to us, when it was easier for him to pull away from us and focus on training. I've seen how selfless my husband is and it encourages me to be my best for him. I'm not always at my best, and he loves me through my imperfections. I have learned so much about myself and our marriage and I am blown away by the strength of our love.


Love is so much more than the happy, butterfly touchy feely surface love. The choice to see each other through the ugly is what makes or breaks a marriage. It is easier to drift apart and have hurt feelings and focus on what you need when things get ugly. Its tough to push your feelings aside and know that when your spouse isn't or can't be their best, their heart is still yours and they need you more than ever in those moments. We are a team, and its important to support and give my all, even when its tough.

We have a beautiful life. We had a tough year. But I can honestly say I love my husband more than I ever have. I am proud of our marriage and who we have become together. I am not a perfect wife, but I am choosing my marriage and my husband every day. Looking back on our 5 years, we have come so far and I'm so excited for our family to continue to grow together, even through our challenges. Thank you Air Force for challenging our marriage in ways I could never imagined, and helping us come out of UPT stronger.

I love you more today than yesterday, but far less than tomorrow. Here's to our forever babe <3

Four Amazing Years

It has been four amazing years since Jordan and I said 'I Do' 

This year brings new changes to our family, as we have moved to Oklahoma for our newest journey with the United States Air Force. I look outside today and I don't see the beautiful fall landscape that is Michigan fall. Today's high will be around 90, and that fall crisp is missing from the air around us. Even though we are in an entirely different part of the country, and Jordan is very busy with pilot training, many things have remained the same. 

Last night we reminisced about our rehearsal dinner and the nerves we felt before our big day. We had no idea that night how amazing our journey would be. Our wedding was a great day, but we had no idea that our amazing day would just be the start of all the beautiful things that have happened in our lives so far. Today I enjoyed time with Evelyn & new friends while Jordan was at work. Jordan has a big test tomorrow, so we weren't able to spend as much time as we would have liked together, but our moments together have counted. We exchanged our gifts & we will watch football together while he decompresses for a few moments before he gets back to studying. 

We have become used to spending time apart based on the nature of Jordan's two career choices, which has presented different challenges that many couples do not have to face. To us, its our reality. When you only get two days a week with your husband, you learn to cherish the moments you get. It sounds cheesy and I promise we aren't all happiness and sunshine every time we are together, but its how we live and it works for us. I've learned that he needs alone time, even when Evelyn and I want to take up all his time. I've learned that he is happy with simple things, like home-cooked meals, playing with Evelyn & simple gestures. I have stopped trying to make every moment perfect when we get time with him and just try and enjoy him being home and present. 

This new journey of living across the country from our family is a new challenge to us and we are trying to adapt everyday. Jordan's schedule will only get more busy, and we will have to adjust our expectations again. For now, we relish in the idea that the sacrifices we make during these years of training will allow us to enjoy many, many anniversaries in big ways. 

I couldn't imagine going through life without Jordan and our craziness - I wouldn't trade it for the world. These years of adventures and adjustments with new jobs & new states just adds to our story that we will someday share with our grandchildren. We will look back and smile at the craziness that we chose. We only live once, and whats life without a little adventure? We've had our fare share of adventures in our first four years of marriage, and I can't wait to see what new adventures come our way. 

I love you more today than yesterday, but far less than tomorrow

3 years ago

Today Jordan and I celebrate 3 years of marriage!

I CANNOT believe it has been 3 years. As I'm writing this, I am back to that beautiful fall day on that October Saturday...

My girls were there for me all day to help calm my nerves, and I couldn't have asked for better people to be with that day. We got to the church and even though I have no idea what Jordan was up to, I knew he was probably feeling the same way I was. Excited. Nervous. Happy. The day that I dreamed about since I was a little girl was upon me. Would it live up to my expectations? I can't believe I ever wondered if it would live up to expectations...I was completely blown away.

I remember waiting in the back of the church as one by one, my girls left me. Then it was me and my daddy. Waiting for the doors to open when I would see the man of my dreams waiting for me. That moment was unforgettable. I couldn't take my eyes off that man. My man. My dreams were coming true, and I couldn't be any happier.

The church was the perfect setting. Its what I pictured our wedding like. A big, grand BEAUTIFUL church.

Our day was perfect. There is no other way to describe it.

October 16, 2010 was so much more than my dream wedding. It was the day I made a promise to my best friend in front of God, family & friends. Marriage is not an easy road and there can be daily challenges. But I look at Jordan every day and am so thankful for the strong, humble & loving man that I get to spend my life with. He loves me through my faults and mistakes. He is patient with me when I struggle. He understands my heart and I understand his.

Today we celebrate our love multiplied through our daughter. The day she was born, I fell deeper in love with Jordan.  Seeing the way he interacts with her makes my heart melt. He is so tender with her. Today is a day to watch our wedding video and to cherish each other a little more. Its a day to be thankful for our life together as a family of 3. And its a day to look forward to our future together.

Today also marks the end of my maternity leave and the beginning of our new routine with babysitters and work. I am very sad about having to leave my baby girl tomorrow, but today I am going to snuggle. I'm going to snuggle with Jordan and Evelyn and remember our wedding day. I am thankful for the last 3 years of marriage with Jordan and the last 11 weeks with Evelyn. We have a blessed life and I look forward to many, many more years.

 I love you more today than  yesterday, but far less than tomorrow.

California October 2012

I am convinced that California in October is amazing. I don't have much to compare it to since I've only been to California in October, but it is pretty spectacular this time of year. Jordan and I are lucky enough to have gone for the past 2 years to Monterey, CA to celebrate our anniversary. Last year's trip was bittersweet because when we got back he left for 2 months for military training, but this year's trip was unplanned until about 3 weeks before and it was such an amazing, relaxing vacation, just the two of us!

We started out early Monday morning expecting to get to California by about noon pacific time. Then we looked at our chances to get on the flights. Not so good. We weren't even sure we could get out of Kalamazoo at that point. We ended up getting out to Detroit just fine and then we were stuck. We weren't sure whether to take our chances on a direct flight to San Francisco (SFO) that was oversold by 5, or take a sure flight later in the day out of New York City at JFK. We were a little tired and decided to skip the direct flight and head to New York. That was quite an adventure in itself too. We had to fly to LaGuardia in NYC, take a bus across the city to JFK to catch our flight. What could we say, we wanted some adventure to start off our trip!

After our detour to NYC for the day, we ended up getting to SFO just fine! Instead of a 4 hour flight though, we had a 6 hour flight coast to coast! It was such a long flight. Can't really complain too much though, we were on our way to California! We got our rental car and headed down the coast to Monterey. I was quite happy with myself for being able to use my credit card reward points for our rental car, which was completely free! (thanks to my nurse extern who reminded me I probably had some points!). We were so hungry we decided to try and find food around San Francisco. We ended up driving through a really cool part of town south of the city, through some really fancy neighborhoods that I'm sure we weren't suppose to be in. It was cool though to see the different houses and the way people live in different cities.

Monterey Marriott

Just a short hour or so later and we were in Monterey. We checked in to our hotel the Monterey Marriott. Jordan earned reward points for staying in Macon, GA for 6 months and we were able to use points for 2 nights and only paid for 1 night! Jordan also earned the title of "platinum-elite member" at Marriott, so we were treated like royalty there. We got upgraded to their largest suite (for free), with 2 balconies,  and got a bottle of wine delivered to our room. We also got free breakfast at their buffet each morning too (normally $20 a person!). We made out like bandits there. It was so cool to have all those things happen over our anniversary.

Lollapalooza on our anniversary

We woke up on our anniversary and enjoyed a wonderful breakfast! We headed out for some whale watching that morning and had a great time for a second year in a row with the Princess Monterey Whale Watching Tours. We had the most amazing weather. It was seriously a perfect day. After our whale watching and lunch on fisherman's wharf, we headed down south of Monterey to the area of Big Sur, where an awesome mountain range meets the ocean! We drove around and saw the Giant Redwoods, stopped at roadside pull offs and really enjoyed some of the best sights in our country! We ended our trip south of Monterey at Point Lobos State Reserve, where we hiked around and watched a glorious sunset with sea lions serenading the scene. We went back downtown Monterey for dinner at Lollapalooza. It was soo good! We loved it so much, we actually went back the next day! They had the best local wines and Jordan loved their drinks and food too!

Jordan on Carmel Beach

On Wednesday we really just did whatever came our way. We went on the 17-mile-drive through Pebble Beach on a super warm fall day and just took in every sight and sound we could. That region is just wonderful. It is beautiful and breathtaking. There is so much to do and even though it can get touristy, it doesn't feel like your in the middle of hundreds of other visitors. There is one of the best aquariums in the country in Monterey, and even though we haven't had the chance to go there, we know it would live up to the greatness. Everything else in Monterey has. We spent time in Carmel. When I speak of Monterey being wonderful, I tend to lump Carmel into that same sentiment. Carmel is a boutique-y little town that sits right on the ocean. The beach there is amazing and butts up to the famed Pebble Beach Golf Course. They have great shopping and great food in town. Oh and Clint Eastwood lives there! That is super cool!

This year we didn't go wine tasting like we did last year and I'm a little sad about that. The wine in that area is so good! I know we'll be back again so next year that will be on our must do list! We had the best weather ever and the best vacation. Seriously. Monterey is beautiful and there is never a lack of things to do. We CANNOT wait to go back!

2 happy years

My wonderful husband and I are just celebrated our 2 year anniversary. I can’t believe how fast its gone. It sounds so long ago, but the time has gone so fast. Looking back on the last 2 years, I can’t imagine a better way to have spent them. Jordan is my rock and the love of my life and I am so, so lucky to have him. So much has changed since the day we said “I do.”

When we first got married, Jordan was finishing up his flight instructing certificates and was focusing on getting a job as a flight instructor to get hours to eventually apply for the airlines. We lived in a small 2 bedroom apartment on the east side of town. Everyday was a learning process. Some days we needed our alone time, some days we spent all day together and enjoyed eachothers company. There were times when we hurt eachother and there were lots of moments of joy.

And then Jordan got a tip that an airline would be hiring low-time pilots and that was his chance! He was able to get into the airlines when we weren’t expecting it. It was so awesome. Except the part that to train on the aircraft he has to be gone for about 2 months. Straight. Without breaks to come home. I thought this was totally crazy, I mean how do the airlines get away with that? Well, they do and that’s just the way it is unfortunately. I only got to see him once for those 2 months and man that was crazy. We weren’t even married for 6 months and he was gone for 2 of those months. Little did we know that was just the beginning of his adventures away from home.

Its such a learning process, this thing called marriage, and I’m  not sure we will ever perfect it, or even come close for that matter. There is such a balance that marriage requires and it constantly changes. At different times, we both need different things, and unless you are a mind reader, it is almost impossible to always get it right. We’ve learned to forgive, and to love uncondiontionally and to always look behind us and be grateful for how far we’ve come and to look ahead and see how far we will go together. We have learned the true meaning of unconditional. It doesn’t mean you can pick and choose, it doesn’t mean that you can give up. It doesn’t mean that you can give less because you are tired, or annoyed, or having a bad day. Through every moment of everyday, love and forgivness have to be unconditional.