Eight Whole Months

8 months old!

Wow. Wow. Wow. 8 months sounds old. I recently got an email saying "Your baby is almost a toddler" My jaw dropped to the floor and I tried not to cry thinking about my baby being a toddler. This month has been a month of lots of changes for our family, and I have come to realize that my baby IS becoming a toddler!

Jordan left us for 8 weeks, and Evelyn and I have been working on getting into a routine of our "new normal." I have learned that she is a quite a flexible baby and quite agreeable with whatever we happen to throw at her.

Most of this month she has spent trying sooo hard to get the crawling forward thing down. She can crawl backwards with great form and can get anywhere she wants by log-rolling, sitting up and crawling backwards. No army crawls here. We were pretty sure she was going to crawl forward before Jordan left. Unfortunately, she missed that deadline by about 6 days.

Yup. That's right. My baby girl started crawling. And she is fast. And super coordinated. She can crawl on our hard surface floors and the carpet. I think because she was working on her technique for so long {almost a month of rocking on all fours, reaching hands out with no movement} she is so good at it! I came home from work last Friday March 28th, and she was reaching up for me, noticed the remote laying on the ground, and went for it! I texted my babysitter asking if she had crawled yet {because I knew she was close}, but she said Evelyn hadn't crawled yet. I was so proud of my baby girl! I recorded her repeatedly crawling for the dang remote so Jordan could enjoy all of her greatness! I can re-direct her in a moment and she turns right around and comes back the other way. She IS becoming a toddler. *tears*

I have realized how fast I have to child-proof my house. I have to constantly scan the floor to see if there is a piece of paper {why does she love paper so much?!} globs of dog or cat hair that the vacuum might have missed, because everything and anything she can find will go into her mouth!

Evelyn has increasingly become vocal, not so surprising considereing who her mother is! Said her first word "dada" March 20th. She will babble "dada" all the time, but she was very purposeful when she said it at Jordan. She sees pictures of Jordan and says Dada. I'm so glad her first word was Dada. I'm pretty sure she's working on doggy to be her next word! She IS becoming a toddler.

Airports

Oh how I love airports....

I actually really do enjoy them.

I am sitting here waiting for the next flight to Detroit. The powers that be at Delta changed the times on some flights today and the flight I was originally going to be on was suddenly full. So now I wait for the next flight out. With a baby. Thankfully she is sleeping like a dream! Lets hope she stays asleep when we get on the plane, because lets face it, thats when it really matters.

But back to why I love airports. It is the best place to people watch.
Seriously.
Have you ever sat in an airport and looked around at all the people? There are people from all walks of life and many are quite entertaining.

Right across from me is a lady so hung-over that she looks like death. She fell asleep on the *super comfy* chairs, her friends left her with all their bags while they go walk around and she just woke up very, very confused.

There are people trying to act all fancy, like they are better than everybody else. Walking around looking down on everybody else. They are probably sitting in coach, in the back by the toilets. (Yes, I like to guess whether people are first class or not).

There are a couple fancy lookin guys in suits...isn't is Sunday? Why are they in suits? They must be very, very, VERY important.

Across the terminal from me is a restaurant. I know that some people have long lay-overs and such, but they never seem full or hardly have any customers, who eats there really?

I'm sure there are people judging me for being a lady traveling alone with an infant and wishing and hoping that I am not on their plane.

Overall, the airport is a fun place for me. I don't mind waiting. Even with a baby. I can walk around and see all sorts of people. The over-priced food and connivence stores crack me up, but I like going through and laughing to myself about the prices.

Its kind of like a fun challenge for me. Looking at what flights are available and which ones I can make. And then actually getting to the airport and seeing what I flights I get on. Some people really don't like this guessing game, but I for some reason love it. Maybe some day when my kids are older and we are traveling as a bigger family, I might like airports a little less. But, for now I'm going to roll with it and hopefully keep being spontaneous with trips and vacations. Life's too short to not live a little on the edge. 

First Days Back

I'm officially a working mother. Thats a good thing, right?

It actually feels good to be back to work in some ways.

First of all, I love my job and I love working with brand new babies and their families, even if the babies are sick and the families are facing some of the hardest days in their lives while their child is sick. I love teaching people about their baby and watching these amazing little babies grow and get home to their families. There are sad and hard days at times, but it is a happy atmosphere and I really enjoy being there.

That being said, I hate leaving my baby. I hate thinking that I might miss a big milestone. I will miss smiles. And I miss spending my days with her.

Our babysitter, Kaitlyn, is making the transition SO much easier. She is young but very knowledgable about caring for babies. She loves Evelyn. That means so much to me. She says that Evelyn is her favorite baby to babysit. The fact that she is so loving with my baby makes me so much more comfortable while I'm away. But the very best thing that Kaitlyn does is send about 30 pictures a day to me while I'm at work! I get sleeping pictures, awake pictures and smily pictures. All make me feel like Evelyn isn't completely devastated that I'm gone.

I'm not sure if all working moms feel this way, but I'm sure that I'm not the only one that feels this way.

I wonder how anybody else could possibly take care of her as I would. I wonder if she is safe. I wonder if she knows that I miss her.

Of course, many of those feelings are my over thinking the situation. I know that she is safe with Kaitlyn or with anybody else that might watch her - I wouldn't let her stay with anybody if I was concerned she wouldn't be safe. The people we put around our family love us and especially love her.

As time goes on, this will no longer be a transition, it will be our normal routine. And that makes me a little sad. Maybe someday I can stay at home with our children and I won't feel sad about my working routine. But for now, we will all adjust to this life. I know there may be other challenges ahead of us with this routine, but we will bend and flex to adjust to the changes.

And Now You're Even Older

.Birthdays. 

I am really not old enough to dread birthdays, and I think they are great days to be reminded that you are truly loved by your family and friends. Hundreds of Facebook posts, text messages, and phone calls remind you of that. 

But my birthday this year really feels different. I knew my birthday was coming because it was October and the day would eventually be here, but I kept forgetting. Things have changed this year. I am not closer to 30 than to 20. I'm 26. Mid twenties, but almost late 20's. Life is real now. I was a freshman in college 8 years ago. Those years are going to continue to get farther and farther away. I'm really an adult now. Not that I wasn't before, but it sounds for formal now. But isn't age just a number, but that's a whole different discussion.....

The real reason that my birthday doesn't matter anymore is because of my daughter. Now, I don't want her to ever think she made mommy forget her birthday and feel bad about it. My birthday doesn't matter anymore because everyday with her is far more important than celebrating MY birthday. "Me" just doesn't matter like that anymore. My desires pale in comparison to her desires. All I want for my birthday is to spend it with her AND Jordan. Sure, I might buy myself some shoes, or some clothes, but I don't see the need to fuss over my birthday anymore. 

What will this mean for future birthdays? I want to make sure that I take a little bit of time for my on my "special" day, but its hard to find that balance for me right now. Maybe its because Evelyn is so young still and it will get easier as we fall more into this new family life that we have, or maybe it will always feel like this. 

I think its important to look back at my previous year and celebrate the accomplishments while reflecting on faults. I also want to look ahead at the next year and dream about amazing things I could conquer. Instead of celebrating my birthday with gifts and parties, I want to celebrate life's little blessings and know that I am loved.