Another new life

This post was written the day we found out we are expecting baby #2! 

So today - September 19, 2014, we found out we are expecting our second little baby.

I'm a little - well, a lot - suprised! Thank God for Jordan being over the moon excited!

I've been feeling nauseous off and on since we've been in Oklahoma. I blamed it on the heat and the change in weather, allergies & just being in a new place. But this morning I was feeling good, went to take a bit of cheese that Evelyn was having, and I almost gagged on it. And I just thought....hmmm....lets just take that one test I have in the house. I don't usually just have pregnancy tests laying around. We weren't TRYING to get pregnant, so it wasn't like I was checking to see if we were pregnant every month. I'm not even sure why I had one in our cabinet actually.

Regardless, took the test and before the test was even done, there were two lines. I was SO SHOCKED! I mean, I didn't take that test expecting a positive result, I just figured I was being a silly girl. But nope. The positive line was almost darker than the control line, so I mean we.are.pregnant!

Then the panic set in. OMG we are in Oklahoma. OMG Jordan is in training. OMG we will have 2 kids under 2. OMG. OMG. OMG!

Jordan was of course at work and wasn't able to talk. I had to wait until he got home to tell him. When he got home he saw the positive test and was BEYOND excited! It took him about 30 seconds to think, OMG, and then he was pumped. He went back to work this afternoon and told everybody he saw that we were pregnant.

Its just so weird to think that this baby won't be born at a hospital I know like the back of my hand. I won't know all the doctors and nurses like I did at Bronson. We won't have all of our friends and family around. I have to let go of that, and know that this baby is meant to be. To get pregnant when we weren't trying is a blessing that we embrace and even though I am still shaking as I write this, we are so lucky to have this baby!

Another Move Down

Soon after we moved down to Enid and into our rental, we soon realized that living off base wasn't for us. All of our Air Force friends live on base, and Jordan and I both found ourselves driving to base multiple times a day for work, events & playdates. We contacted the housing office and we found out a house could be ours in the beginning of November. We didn't have to talk long to decide we had to take this chance to live on base. It wouldn't be easy leaving our great neighbors next door, but the base is just across the little town and we would still see each other. So our decision was made and almost as soon as we had everything un-packed, we had to pack it all back up to get ready for our next move. Three moves in four months makes for a lot of boxes and a lot of stress of not feeling like we have a real home!

So finally the time came a couple weeks back to sign on our new house! We signed our papers during the week, and had a few days to set up internet & slowly move a few things over. Over the weekend we go Jordan's classmates to help us move! Thank GOD for them! We had coffee & donuts in the morning & pizza in the evening, and they moved our stuff. We could not have done it without them. We had great help at the old house and even more help at the new house. 

We still have some settling to do in this new house. Going through our office stuff, organizing all our clothes, breaking down boxes in the garage, and hanging our decorations. Doesn't sound like to much, does it?

Our new house! 

It has been so wonderful being on base. We are close to our friends (minus or super neighbors we met at our first rental, but we still see them!), Jordan is super close to work and can sleep longer in the mornings, & we are right in the center of it all. When we found out we would be coming to UPT we really hoped to live on base. Some people would never live on base because of the 'restrictions' but we wanted to submerse ourselves in the Air Force life. We aren't in active duty, so we don't get the opportunities to move to new places and life Air Force all the time. This training is a short 14 months, and then we head back to our "real lives" as I like to call it. So knowing that this is not forever and we get to go back home to our family and the beautiful state of Michigan, we wanted to take full advantage of all the Air Force has to offer. Some in the active duty world may think we're crazy, but I think its a fun adventure.

For our active duty friends, I realize this is not necessarily an adventure for you, and its your real life. The ones who choose to sacrifice and serve through active duty, I tip my hat to you. It can be a difficult lifestyle and I applaud you for your choice. I like to say that we get the best of both worlds, as we straddle the civilian/military life. I feel so grateful for this life we get to live and all the opportunities that have came our way. We are enjoying being in Enid & we are taking advantage of all Vance AFB, Enid & Oklahoma have to offer.

Four Amazing Years

It has been four amazing years since Jordan and I said 'I Do' 

This year brings new changes to our family, as we have moved to Oklahoma for our newest journey with the United States Air Force. I look outside today and I don't see the beautiful fall landscape that is Michigan fall. Today's high will be around 90, and that fall crisp is missing from the air around us. Even though we are in an entirely different part of the country, and Jordan is very busy with pilot training, many things have remained the same. 

Last night we reminisced about our rehearsal dinner and the nerves we felt before our big day. We had no idea that night how amazing our journey would be. Our wedding was a great day, but we had no idea that our amazing day would just be the start of all the beautiful things that have happened in our lives so far. Today I enjoyed time with Evelyn & new friends while Jordan was at work. Jordan has a big test tomorrow, so we weren't able to spend as much time as we would have liked together, but our moments together have counted. We exchanged our gifts & we will watch football together while he decompresses for a few moments before he gets back to studying. 

We have become used to spending time apart based on the nature of Jordan's two career choices, which has presented different challenges that many couples do not have to face. To us, its our reality. When you only get two days a week with your husband, you learn to cherish the moments you get. It sounds cheesy and I promise we aren't all happiness and sunshine every time we are together, but its how we live and it works for us. I've learned that he needs alone time, even when Evelyn and I want to take up all his time. I've learned that he is happy with simple things, like home-cooked meals, playing with Evelyn & simple gestures. I have stopped trying to make every moment perfect when we get time with him and just try and enjoy him being home and present. 

This new journey of living across the country from our family is a new challenge to us and we are trying to adapt everyday. Jordan's schedule will only get more busy, and we will have to adjust our expectations again. For now, we relish in the idea that the sacrifices we make during these years of training will allow us to enjoy many, many anniversaries in big ways. 

I couldn't imagine going through life without Jordan and our craziness - I wouldn't trade it for the world. These years of adventures and adjustments with new jobs & new states just adds to our story that we will someday share with our grandchildren. We will look back and smile at the craziness that we chose. We only live once, and whats life without a little adventure? We've had our fare share of adventures in our first four years of marriage, and I can't wait to see what new adventures come our way. 

I love you more today than yesterday, but far less than tomorrow

An Okie from Enid

We have been in Oklahoma for almost 3 weeks now. It sort of seems like we have been here for a long time already. We have met great people so far and are so excited to meet more!

Our girls "enjoying" our 14 hour car ride

Our ride was pretty uneventful. We started our journey on a Sunday, which made the traffic & ride super easy. We had perfect weather both days and it was a pretty easy ride! We were lucky to have our good friend Kevin ride down with us, so we could have an extra body to help with the baby & dog in the Explorer. The first day we made it all the way to Joplin, MO, about 5 miles from the Oklahoma border. We headed to Oklahoma City (OKC) the next day to drop Kevin off at the airport. We stayed in OKC that night, and headed to Enid the following morning. We got the keys to our house around 930 that morning, and we had the rest of the day to explore our new town!

Gateway to the West 

Oklahoma State Line!

We ended up getting a house off base because our house on base fell through. Basically, the people who live in the house we were getting had their orders extended and weren't leaving. The housing lady just offered her last house up to another family and there were literally no houses available for us. This happened about a week before we were leaving! Needless to say, we were panicked. But by God's grace, this house fell into our laps. Even with the unexpected expenses of renting off base (higher rent, security deposit, water, trash, etc), we are lucky to have found this house - with more space (by 300 sq.ft) to enhance our adventure out here in Enid.

Our home! 

One of the first things we did was change our license plates. So we really look like Okie's now. Except when we open our mouths and talk. It's pretty obvious we aren't from Oklahoma!

Happy girl!

Route 66 in Miami, OK 

...Wide open spaces...

Celebrating making it to our house! 

Just a few shots of our adventure down here, more updates & pictures to come of our stay down here in Oklahoma! 

Ten months have passed.

Ten months have passed since our baby girl changed our lives forever. 

What a ride these last ten months have been. 

Jordan and I have grown so much in our marriage, and we have been humbled  

by the opportunity to be Evelyn's parents. 

In month 10, we had so many great moments. The biggest of which is that we flew down to Alabama to bring Jordan back home! He is now a 2nd LT in the USAF!!! We are over the moon proud of him! 

It was Evelyn's second time on a plane and I couldn't have asked for a better flying buddy. I was a little worried because she's starting to get into the toddler phase when she doesn't sit still and has a 10 second attention span. I wasn't sure that she would sleep, or be okay with being on my lap for almost 2 hours from gate to gate. But, I was so surprised, she fell asleep and was such a good girl entertaining the people around us.

After we got back from Alabama, it was time to get used to being a family of three again! She loves having her daddy home and can't get enough of him! We have had many family snuggle sessions, hanging outside and going on walks. She has continued to grow and change right before our eyes. Her vocabulary of babbles and "words" is ever expanding, and her personality is so funny! She knows how to charm everybody around her, which is probably trouble for us some day! She is cruising up and down furniture and becoming more confident in her walking skills. She hasn't taken and steps by herself yet, but she is getting close to trying. She will stand by herself and practice her balance, it is so cool to watch her figuring the whole walking thing out. 

In these next two months we need to start planning her FIRST birthday party! 

We also have some changes coming to our family that will shift the way we live and where we live. 

We are excited to continue this ride of being Evelyn's parents!! 

The Pit

THE pit. You know - THAT feeling. That pit in your stomach. Butterflies. Nerves. Anxiety.

Well that feeling has been in the center of my world for the past couple weeks. I'd like it to go away, but that is easier said than done. Knowing that your husband will be leaving for 8 whole weeks leaves you with quite and un-easy feeling.

Its that feeling that makes me unable to have an appetite {thank goodness I still have 10lbs of leftover baby!}. It makes me unable to enjoy my last few days with my love. It consumes me.

As much as I try to not think about the upcoming event of Jordan leaving, it surrounds me at every turn. I focus on the baby and for a moment, a short moment, I am distracted by her happy giggles and obliviousness of the changing dynamic about to take place in her home. Our living room has become packing central. Our table has uniforms and ribbons waiting to be put in the perfect spot on new jackets and shirts. There are two new pairs of boots waiting to be laced up. Out processing paperwork on my counter reminds me that he's leaving.

I've had a few days off work to be able to stay home and enjoy our last few days together. Trying to enjoy it is the hard part, which makes me more anxious because I just want to soak up every happy minute. Instead, we are both trying to not break down and not think about it, and it makes for some quiet meals because that is the only thing on our mind. Maybe its just us. Maybe its just my out of control anxiety that is causing this gloomy scenario playing out in our house. But if I were a bettin' woman, I'd guess that most families facing what we are facing, go through very similar emotions.

The lead up is the worst. Worrying about sleep the night before he leaves and if we'll be able to rest at all. Anticipating that I'm going to lose it at the airport and he can't do anything to help me as I drive away. Knowing that I'm going home to an empty, lonely house. Knowing that we are facing eight whole weeks without daddy. The unknown of this new training; when can we talk next, how often can we talk? I could barf just thinking about it all.

Then it happens. Then we wake up and its time to go. How long do we linger downstairs before getting in the car? We know we have to leave, but it just came too fast. The coffee is brewing and we will stand in the kitchen just trying to act like its no big deal. Hug like its the last time we'll ever get to. Load the baby in the car and try to make small talk. Hold hands like its going out of style. Pull into the airport and the tears come, they are quiet - for now. Help him unload his stuff. Stare at him getting in a pile, try and pretend like its not actually happening. Hug him. Hug, hug, hug, kiss, hug. Oh I can't let him go yet, more hugs. I think I'm shaking now, maybe its because I'm cold. We'll be okay, we'll be okay.

Both of us heading separate ways knowing that the sooner he leaves, the sooner he's home.

He'll be home before we know it and these eight weeks will be a short blip in time. But for right now, this blip is anxiety ridden and difficult. It will get easier, so they say. I don't think it ever gets easier, you just get used to the empty house and after the baby goes to bed and you're all alone is when its the hardest, thats when the tears come. Even if the tears never leave your eyes, they are there. And for now thats okay. The ache of missing my love will not be diminished with time, I will just cope any way I know how and get along with these eight weeks. This short blip in time that seems like eternity now, will be over soon.