Four Amazing Years

It has been four amazing years since Jordan and I said 'I Do' 

This year brings new changes to our family, as we have moved to Oklahoma for our newest journey with the United States Air Force. I look outside today and I don't see the beautiful fall landscape that is Michigan fall. Today's high will be around 90, and that fall crisp is missing from the air around us. Even though we are in an entirely different part of the country, and Jordan is very busy with pilot training, many things have remained the same. 

Last night we reminisced about our rehearsal dinner and the nerves we felt before our big day. We had no idea that night how amazing our journey would be. Our wedding was a great day, but we had no idea that our amazing day would just be the start of all the beautiful things that have happened in our lives so far. Today I enjoyed time with Evelyn & new friends while Jordan was at work. Jordan has a big test tomorrow, so we weren't able to spend as much time as we would have liked together, but our moments together have counted. We exchanged our gifts & we will watch football together while he decompresses for a few moments before he gets back to studying. 

We have become used to spending time apart based on the nature of Jordan's two career choices, which has presented different challenges that many couples do not have to face. To us, its our reality. When you only get two days a week with your husband, you learn to cherish the moments you get. It sounds cheesy and I promise we aren't all happiness and sunshine every time we are together, but its how we live and it works for us. I've learned that he needs alone time, even when Evelyn and I want to take up all his time. I've learned that he is happy with simple things, like home-cooked meals, playing with Evelyn & simple gestures. I have stopped trying to make every moment perfect when we get time with him and just try and enjoy him being home and present. 

This new journey of living across the country from our family is a new challenge to us and we are trying to adapt everyday. Jordan's schedule will only get more busy, and we will have to adjust our expectations again. For now, we relish in the idea that the sacrifices we make during these years of training will allow us to enjoy many, many anniversaries in big ways. 

I couldn't imagine going through life without Jordan and our craziness - I wouldn't trade it for the world. These years of adventures and adjustments with new jobs & new states just adds to our story that we will someday share with our grandchildren. We will look back and smile at the craziness that we chose. We only live once, and whats life without a little adventure? We've had our fare share of adventures in our first four years of marriage, and I can't wait to see what new adventures come our way. 

I love you more today than yesterday, but far less than tomorrow

{One} More Week

How can this be? How is it almost time for me to go back to work already? 

I am blessed to have been able to take {12} weeks of maternity leave. Technically it will only be 11 weeks because they took me off work about a week before she was born, but who's counting? 

I am blessed to love my job. 

I am blessed to have amazing co-workers who understand how hard it is to come back after having a baby. 

I am blessed. 

But all this doesn't make me any less sad to have to go back to work. I mean look at that face! 

I have been able to look at that face pretty much all day, everyday since she's been born. Yes of course we've gone out on dates without the baby, she has stayed home with Jordan while I run errands, but for the most part, she has been with me for most of her little life. I'm not quite sure how I will feel on that first day when I won't see her all day. Ugh! Just thinking about it makes me sad. 

I know its a good thing for all 3 of us for me to head back to work. Lets be honest, I'm not the best at staying home. I have come to really respect (and envy) you stay at home moms. And yes, I realize that you don't just stay at home all day every day. My career is so much more than just a career to me. Its apart of who I am, and I couldn't imagine not being a nurse and not working. 

I am excited to fall into our family routine. I feel like we've been living a fantasy life. Jordan has been home the whole time I've been home and its been amazing. But all good things must come to an end right? 

I look forward to this next chapter of balancing myself, being a wife, motherhood and my career. I know we'll have ups and downs. But we will work it out. 

So for now, in this last week of fantasy, I am going to breathe deeply, cherish every minute and live in the moment. I am going to cook dinners for my husband and be a stay at home wife for another week. I'm not going make plans and allow myself to stay at home in my pj's and relax. I'm going to take baths. I'm going to snuggle my baby girl as much as possible. I'm going to take naps when she naps. I'm going to eat whatever I want, because hey, I've lost 20 lbs already and I'm only 11 weeks out. One more week and I won't have so much down time. I'm going to pray for my sanity next Thursday. One more week. One.More.Week.

The Ribs

Today was the first time I felt the baby in my ribs. What a wonderful feeling! Right? Right. Its a little shocking to me that I can feel that this early!

At first I wasn't really sure if thats what I was feeling. Our baby is very active and I feel lots of kicks throughout the day. But this was a different feeling. It was a dull pressure that didn't really kick or move away fast. It was just there. I thought it was just a random feeling. But sure enough, our little baby found a nice spot to lay right up underneath my ribs. At one point I tried to push in the area I felt the pressure to see if it really was the baby, well I certainly found out that it was. Our sassy babe kicked me right back at that moment as if he/she were saying, "excuse me! I'm trying to get comfortable!"

I just find it absolutely remarkable that the things other women talk about when they are pregnant are happening to me! I totally understand what a lot of them talk about with how cool it is to feel your baby move. There are really no words to explain it. Whether the moves are quick kicks, rolls, or hangin' out in the ribs, its just really cool. Its reassuring that everything is going as it should be, and it just constantly reminds you that you are carrying another human. That human depends on you for absolutely everything. And it will continue to depend on you to some degree for the rest of their life.

But I really would like to know how the baby finds the ribs this early. I am almost 28 weeks, and I can definitely feel the baby low. I feel pressure and I can feel little fluttery movements way 'down there.' So why is it already that I get this in the ribs? Is the baby really all that big/tall already? It just kinda blows my mind! It is kinda silly that I'm asking how big the baby, because I have taken care of many, many babies that are the size of my baby currently. I can literally walk onto my unit right now and find a couple babies that are the size of mine and just imagine how that would fit inside of me at this point. But even knowing that, and knowing that the baby really is getting bigger everyday, it is still amazing to me! I just can't wait to see what else the baby finds to mess with in the next 12 weeks!

Blood sugar test, Ack!

So, Jordan, baby and I have made it to 25 weeks! And, unfortunately the dreaded fasting blood sugar test. Around here, they do the "new & improved" blood sugar testing, which they say is a more accurate representation of gestational diabetics. I think its stupid. I think it 'captures' all these "gestational diabetics" who aren't really. I think it drives up medical costs. But thats just my opinion. I might be slightly biased because I have to be fasting for 10 hours and then sit there for 2 hours after I drink straight sugar mix. Who tells a 6-7 month pregnant lady that she can't eat? I mean c'mon, that just isn't nice. My test is at 730 am tomorrow, and I had to start fasting at 930pm. It is now 1030, and I am starving already and have some wicked heartburn. It will all be over in 12 hours, right? But seriously, enough complaining about an important test. It really is an important test, there are many women who have gestational diabetes and it is very serious, the babies can have multiple complications. But can't I just vent it out for a second?!

I honestly though should not even be complaining about taking this test. I've made it far enough in my pregnancy to have the privilege to take it. After all my belly-aching, then I call this a privilege, you probably think I'm a little crazy! (I am pregnant, after all!) At work every day, I am reminded of women who are not as lucky as I am to have a healthy pregnancy and face many complications. There have been many patients that I have taken care of whose mothers have not made it to 25 weeks to even take this test. I am so lucky to make it this far. There are far too many women in this world who deserve to have beautiful, wonderful, healthy pregnancies and have nothing but troubles. there are too many families who are heartbroken by infertility, miscarriage, fetal loss, stillborns, severe congenital defects, and many other complications. Jordan and I are truly blessed to have made it this far.

I know it sounds silly to keep saying, I've made it this far. It sounds a little odd to me too, but that's honestly how I feel. Everyday that passes and every time baby and I make it to another Monday, I think, "we've made it this far, look at how far we've come!" There are probably many women who realize what a miracle it is to have a baby inside of them, but fail to realize how lucky they are to be where they are at. I have seen the heartbreak of having twins at 23 weeks and only have 1 survive, only to have a long, uncertain road ahead. The sadness of going into spontaneous labor at any week before 37 weeks, it happens all too often. Maybe it really sucks that I know all these things can happen. Or maybe its God's way of keeping me grounded. Now, don't get me wrong, I have moments of feeling worn out, emotional, hungry (right now), but how can I deny how absolutely blessed I am to be where I am at. How can any woman who is pregnant deny that?

Our society is so focused on instant gratification that I feel like when some women get toward the end of their pregnancy, all they can do is complain and "want it to be over." I'm not saying those thoughts wouldn't cross my mind, I've never been to the end of a pregnancy before, but I sure as hell know I will not be complaining when I am, God willing, at that point. We are so ready to be over with that part in our lives, that we sacrifice our bodies natural rhythm to go into labor when the baby is ready. I know there are situations when inductions are needed, but I hear of people all too often of "wanting" to be induced at 39 weeks, because they are "big enough" or too uncomfortable. Well, I could think of at least 30 women currently with babies on my unit and many more before them who would give their right arm to be uncomfortable at 39 weeks with a big baby. Our gestational period as humans is 40 weeks, there is a reason for that. Yes, many babies do fine a few weeks before then, and no we don't want our babies overdone due to the complications that can be associated with that, but we use 40 weeks for a reason, its what's best for the babies! Isn't that what being pregnant is all about anyway, the baby?

Why is it so easy to lose tract of the miracle that has been going on inside of us for 40 weeks and just complain? We get to house a precious life for those 40 weeks, just us and the baby. Like I said, I am sitting here in my happy 25 weeks, mostly comfortable and feeling great, so I do have a biased, cheery disposition on the whole thing. But I have nothing to complain about. I have a wonderful husband who always supports me, my baby is healthy, I am in good health, and everyday I am one day farther, I am one day closer to meeting my baby. Every time I think something is awful or I feel "terrible" I just think of the women who would die to be in my shoes. There are far too many things that can go wrong to sit and think about them all day, but for me, knowing they exist and being thankful for where I am at in my pregnancy make these 25 weeks and 15 more to come that much more precious to me.

Baby Prep

Jordan and his guns!

Jordan has been working so hard on getting our nursery baby ready! It was a pretty boring room, and from the beginning before I knew what kind of theme, paint color, etc I wanted for the room, I knew I wanted a chair rail and maybe some wainscoting. So my wonderful husband had to get started on building it! I am against buying things straight off the rack apparently, so we had to "create" our own chair rail. So many things in the store are too traditional, or too ornate, or too frumpy for a nursery. We like simple, clean lines, so thats what I was going for. Easier said than done. But this is what we came up with! We still need to paint the new chair rail all white, and what is below it white also, but its coming together! The color on the top half of the walls I am still not sure about, so I've got to test out some paint colors once it gets a little nicer and we can have the windows open to air out the house when we are painting!

Our animals "helping" out

One of the best days so far in this baby prep is when we got our furniture delivery! Our animals were all about "helping" out when we got the furniture and couldn't stand to be out of the room as we were figuring out where to put it! I'm sure we are going to change it all about 90 times before the baby comes, but for now, we are just going to keep it where it is and see how we like it! Jordan had a fun time putting together the crib! It is so much better in person, in our house than it was in the store! I absolutely love the clean lines and simplicity of it! It will be perfect for a little boy or a little girl and that makes me so incredibly happy!

Our beautiful crib! 

There are so many more things to think about when it comes to getting a nursery set up and ready for a baby. I'm probably over-thinking it all, because after all, its just a baby's room, right? With all these perfect pinterest nurseries and blogs about how to make the best, most chic baby room around, its hard to keep up - especially when you don't know if you're having a boy or a girl! Its even more frustrating that all the stores sell stupid, tacky, themed bedding sets. I mean, people actually buy this crap! There are some seriously hideous themes, and the sad thing is, there are people that think they are cute! I don't want a specific theme and that makes it 100x more difficult to find things I like. I'm finding myself piecing together parts of different sets to make a simple and clean baby room! I have to keep telling myself that all this stuff won't really matter, but I still want it to be perfect and put together and wonderful for our sweet baby!

Its time for me to just take a deep breath, relax, and go with what is simple and easy to put together and make our baby's room perfect. It may not be "pinterest perfect" but who really cares? I don't have to prove anything to anybody, and my baby won't ever know a difference!

Yummy's on a cold night

Tonight Jordan returned from being gone for 5 days on a trip to California for the military. I was feeling bad that he had to  leave the 90 degree days to head back to frost covered Michigan (no not really, haha!). I was actually feeling very cold all day and decided to warm up with some chili, cornbread and pumpkin cookies! My chili is a little unconventional and is the chili my Nana and Mom made me many times while I was growing up. It is one of my favorite things to make and it always lasts for days after I make it. Jordan also happens to love it, so I never need to convince him that it sounds good for dinner. I wanted to give him a little warmth as he came back from gorgeous perfect weather, to our chilly November days.


Yum. So here is a picture of my wonderful Chili. Little unconventional, but so, so tasty. This is how I make it:

1 can diced tomatoes
1 can hot & spicy beans ( I sometimes add more beans)
1 jar tomato juice
1 lb ground turkey (or beef, venison, etc)
Noodles (I use spaghetti cut in half this time, but any type
                will do)
Jalapenos (as many as you want!)
Onion
Garlic (because everything is better with garlic!)
Chili powder
1/4 cup sugar
salt & pepper

I take the meat and onion and start getting that cooked up to add in. I get a small pot of water boiling for the pasta that I will add. While that is cooking, I add the tomato juice, beans, tomatoes, and jalapenos into a big pot. I add in the salt & pepper, chili powder, garlic, and the sugar. I add those to taste, depending how how I am feeling. I add in the meat & onion when they are cooked, and the pasta when that is ready. I let it all simmer and cook for 10-15 minutes. It is important to let all the flavors marry and get happy with eachother. I usually cook up some cornbread or just add some crackers while I'm eating it. As you can see, it does resemble goulash, but it has the flavor of chili. It is a big more soupy than other chili's, but it is so yummy!


These yummy cookies are pumpkin chocolate chip cookies!
3 ingredients!

1 box spice cake
1 large can of pumpkin
1 package of chocolate chips

Mix them all together and bake at 375 for 15-20 minutes. They are so, so yummy! They are super moist and delicious!




All this yummy-ness in one night means that Jordan is one lucky man. No I'm kidding, he is lucky for lots of reasons, but I do enjoy and get a lot out of when I can cook for him! He is on the road al the time and eats out everyday he is gone, so it is nice for him to have a home-cooked meal. This is one of my favorite meals, and I can't wait to share it with my daughters some day!

Some Fresh Thinking

I am sitting here alone on a Sunday night. Its a night that my husband should have been home. Could I be mad, sure. But what will that change? The fact is, my husband is an airline pilot with a regional airline company. His life, well our life, is mainly dictated by his schedule and when he is home. He is a junior FO at his company and sometimes he has a dictated schedule and other months he's on reserve (on-call). This month happens to be a reserve month. And per contract, he can be "junior manned" and made to work a day he is suppose to be off. Hence the situation we are in. It doesn't help that I work full time as a Neonatal ICU nurse and it seems like most of the time our schedules are completely opposite. Sure we might sleep together at night or have a few hours together, but to spend quality time is often challenging. Our lives tend to be so apart at times, and  yet we are very dedicated to each other. 

Most nights sleeping alone isn't troubling to me. We live in a safe neighborhood with great neighbors who are there for me if I need them. My family is minutes away and Jordan's family is less than an hour away. We have great friends. I know I am never really lonely, but I am alone a lot of the time. I keep myself busy with my side photography business, seeing my friends and family and working out. At times I feel like I have a double life. The Lisa who is "single" and the Lisa who is with Jordan. Of course I am married and would never, ever waiver in our amazing marriage, but I used to constantly schedule things around Jordan's schedule so we could make the most of our time together. This would bug Jordan. Me being home all the time when he is home makes him feel like I am suffocating him by always wanting to be together. I mean that's normal right? After not seeing your husband in 5 days, you would want to see him and spend every minute you can together. It took some time for me to realize that trying to make every minute he was home available for some kind of "Jordan & Lisa" time didn't work. It drove me crazy to figure out my work schedule and the days he was away were so full it was too much. It drove him crazy because he never got alone time. I had to realize that I was able to have all this alone time when he is away, but he was working the whole time and didn't get the down time that I have. I don't know why, but that is a hard concept to grasp. Even now I tend to find myself trying to switch my work schedule so we have more days off together, and there are some times when I do need to switch so we have a few days a month where its just us. 

But even not having matching schedules and trying to make my life as normal as possible I still feel like I have 2 separate lives. And I'm not real sure how to change that feeling. I'm not sure if it will ever go away. Its like I put certain things on hold when he is home so I can do more with him, but I tend to get more stressed out when I do things that way. What a struggle though. Its hard to find that balance. I wonder if I will feel more balanced when we have kids because I HAVE  to keep some consistency for their sake. Gosh I can't even imagine at this point what wrenches kids will throw into our crazy life....

There are so many intricacies and craziness to our life that I hope to spell out a bit here. I am honest about what we go through and the stages we will come across in life. I hope I can be somewhat entertaining and therapeutic for myself at the same time. I could continue this entry forever and ever, but there is plenty of time for that. I'm just excited to start this new chapter so to speak and get things out. 

I'll end this first post by saying I love my husband so deeply that I can't imagine having life any other way. We just don't have typical time together as other couples do. Some say I'm strong for being able to "do things on my own" or I hear "how can you sleep alone?" I don't feel like I do anything on my own, Jordan never leaves my thoughts and he is a very strong constant in my life. And who doesn't like to splay out on the bed by themselves every now and then?