New Year, New Beginnings

Hey, its 2016! 

What a year this will be! 

After a dismal 2 months following pilot training, I feel like life has started again. I've crawled out of the deep, dark hole that was the end of 2015 for me (dramatic, I know) and come out to a bright & shiny 2016! It truly is a year of new beginnings with a whole lot of new-ness in our lives. 

We bought our second home and closed just before Christmas, and we are so excited about it. We practically stole it, and it will support our family for years to come. If we choose, we never ever have to move again - it's that great! Stay tuned for posts regarding the re-decorating and my little projects going on. Because there will be a lot to do. Think victorian-ish bad, dark draperies - mixed with gaudy tropical decor, REALLY bad wallpaper choices (in a bathroom, huh?!) & a lack of cleaning capabilities makes for a lot of little projects spanning months. My list is long, but nothing is completely unlivable and I'm confident in my abilities to turn this house around and make it shine again! In the mean time, I will try my hardest to pace myself and stop trying to understand WHY somebody would have made these choices in a house that is only 10 years old. I'm stumped. But it will keep me busy and that is just what I need. 

 A mere 5 days after we moved into our house Jordan left again for more training. I know how hard it was for him to leave us in a new house, in a new town, not knowing the next time he'll be home before his training is done. The good news is that he's coming home this weekend, only 2 weeks after he left!! But really, these 2 weeks have been eye opening to me and have re-inforced, tested, and accelerated my skills of stay-at-home-momhood. All while still un-packing and organizing a new house with two little ones in tow. In-between naps and after bed just hasn't been enough time to get things organized in every room, do laundry, dishes & other household chores, while feeding kids and trying to not pull my hair out. I'm not trying to brag or anything, but aside from the unpacking thing, I've done a pretty darn good job of keeping us three girls sane. 

Did I mention we moved to a new town that we literally didn't know one person in? Yup, sounds sort of crazy, except we just did that when we moved to Oklahoma. So we're sort of pros at this whole thing. We're only 2 hours from family, so that is comforting, but sort of nice to have our own space. Don't get me wrong, I would LOVE to live close to our parents, but I'm totally okay where we are. I actually love it. I was nervous about becoming a 'metro detroit-er' (EEEKK did I say, Detroit?!) but I think we found an area that suits us perfectly and will be a great place for our family. We seem to be in a great neighborhood. Its winter in Michigan so everybody is hibernating and its tough to meet neighbors, but the few we've met have been really nice and tell us everybody else is nice too. I found a fun music class for the girls that is weekly, so hopefully through that we can forge some friends for the girls and for me as the weeks go on! 

There are an abundance of places for me to work around here and I'm looking forward to heading back to the workforce in some capacity. Not totally sure what that will look like, and even though I'm excited to engage my brain in other ways than reading Dr. Seuss and singing Daniel Tiger & Elmo jingles all day, I'm more sad than I thought I would be to head back. The hope is that I won't be full time and will still find a fulfilling role for me - hopefully in a NICU! We've found a great babysitter and have started to network some (by some I mean very, very little - but its a start!) which will hopefully lead to job possibilities and more friends for the girls and I.

Every year brings a new start as the calendar changes, but this year we are really epitomizing what it means to start new. I'm excited for just about everything in our new house and city. I'm ready for Jordan to come back home for good so we can really put our roots down and *hopefully* stay here a long, long time!

Happy New Year 2016!!!! 

Half-Way Birthday!

Sweet Natalie is 6 months old!!!

And what a month we have had. This girl is KEEPING. ME. ON. MY. TOES. She is all over the place! She started army crawling just after we moved back to Michigan and hasn't looked back. She has been working on actual crawling, and just about has it down, but doesn't have the coordination of the arms & legs moving at the same time quite yet. And she is fast. Like really fast. Like she sees something she wants and is there before I turn around to go get her. A new thing this past week is she's starting to reach for things like she wants to pull herself up on them. I mean seriously? Does this girl know she's JUST 6 months old? You might be thinking, wow, super cool. Its great to have a kiddo so far ahead, right? WRONG. absolutely wrong! It is crazy, and about 3 months ahead of where I thought we would be, and chasing around two already is mind blowing to me. She really is great though, I wouldn't trade it for the world!

She is so stinking funny and such a fun baby to be around. She is the smiliest little thing and brightens up a whole room. We've all had an adjustment period moving back to Michigan from Oklahoma, and this girl has kept us all happy and smiling as much as we can.

We celebrated Natalie's first halloween, which wasn't much a celebration to be honest. It was cold and rainy, and we put the girls in their costumes just long enough for a picture on the front step, and then we all stayed in and stayed warm. I think Natalie looked pretty darn cute as a little chick and Evie as a pig. Hopefully next halloween has better weather and will be more enjoyable!

Just about 2 weeks ago we started giving Natalie baby food! Cue the steaming and mashing of yummy veggies & fruit for our little one. She had been increasingly interested and demanding when we were eating, so we figured it was about time to feed her. Turns out she LOVES it! In these two weeks, we've gone from eating one ice cube of food, to two different foods at each meal. She has loved everything we've given her: avocados, cereal, prunes, sweet potatoes, carrots, banana, green bean, and most of all squash! I love seeing her so happy and eager to eat, its so much fun!

We had some fun in the Michigan leaves that were absent in Oklahoma before it snowed and got too cold. It was pretty epic. Fall is so much better in Michigan! Evie had more fun than Natalie, but she still thought it was pretty cool. Natalie still loves her big sister, and her big sister still loves her!

 We love our sweet girl and can't believe that its been 6 months already since we met her. She fits so perfectly into our family and I love seeing her relationship with Evelyn grow. It is so special to have a sister, and I'm so happy they get to experience that. I can't wait to see what the next 6 months have in store for us. I have a feeling it will include a lot of running around and chasing this sweet girl who keeps us busy!!

We love you Nattie Jane!! 

Five Years of Our Beautiful, Real Life Love

Whelp, we made it to 5 years! Five whole years of marriage with my favorite human. 

Marriage is beautiful, challenging, uplifting, and ugly - sometimes all at once.


This has undoubtably been the hardest year of our marriage. This year at UPT has put outside stress on Jordan that he brought home every day for the last year with him. And by no means is that his fault the stress followed him home. I had my own adjustments and stress this year, that added to our difficult year. A year of extremely high expectations with tests, skill and mental 'games' - all to make him one of the best pilots in the world. And he's conquered that challenge and will walk across the stage next week, receiving his wings in the best Air Force in the world. The amount of joy I feel for him is unmeasurable - but thats another post! It is hard to talk about this year without mentioning UPT because it took over just about every part of our lives this past year.

With all the stress came ugly moments and moments that tested us. I found myself asking "when do I get my husband back?" more than once. I learned that I can handle way more than I ever thought I could. And that doesn't mean that was pretty. I was a mess, probably most of the time. I like to think I held it together all the time, but Jordan had the pleasure - and the unfortunate task of seeing me struggle through the year right next to him. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger is definitely true. But that doesn't mean its a fun, or an easy thing to live through. It actually really sucks.

What I've learned this year is that marriages aren't easy, but everybody knows that right?  Its choosing to love through the ugly - really ugly stuff sometimes. That choice is easy, but it doesn't make it easy to overcome all the ugly. There is no place I would rather be and no other person I would chose to go through the ugly with. My ugly consisted of selfish feelings, passive aggressive remarks, and begging for attention, much like a toddler. It wasn't pretty. Jordan did his absolute best and I have to say, sometimes I didn't feel like it was enough. But if he had more to give in those moments, I know he would have given it. Knowing his heart and understanding that it was killing him to not give everything to me and our girls, helped me cope with what I felt were inadequate days. I wish I could say it was easy, but it wasn't. I struggled through it. But now, maybe because he's seen all my ugly, I'm not scared of the ugly that will come our way in the future - I'm not sure any future ugliness will top this year.

But lets lighten things up. This year wasn't all ugly. We welcomed our sweet Natalie this year! When I say sweet, I mean really sweet. She is smily and happy just what our family needed this year. She is such  a joy and seeing Jordan with TWO little girls is just the best. He is the best daddy to them, and I know they brighten his world. I seriously can't believe that in 5 years of marriage we have transformed into a family of four! We moved across the country and made the best friends here in Enid, America who will stay with us for life. We've had a lot of fun along the way this year, so many fun fridays and celebrations.

I've seen Jordan conquer this year, putting all his focus into his career while balancing a family. He came home and gave all his attention he had and love to us, when it was easier for him to pull away from us and focus on training. I've seen how selfless my husband is and it encourages me to be my best for him. I'm not always at my best, and he loves me through my imperfections. I have learned so much about myself and our marriage and I am blown away by the strength of our love.


Love is so much more than the happy, butterfly touchy feely surface love. The choice to see each other through the ugly is what makes or breaks a marriage. It is easier to drift apart and have hurt feelings and focus on what you need when things get ugly. Its tough to push your feelings aside and know that when your spouse isn't or can't be their best, their heart is still yours and they need you more than ever in those moments. We are a team, and its important to support and give my all, even when its tough.

We have a beautiful life. We had a tough year. But I can honestly say I love my husband more than I ever have. I am proud of our marriage and who we have become together. I am not a perfect wife, but I am choosing my marriage and my husband every day. Looking back on our 5 years, we have come so far and I'm so excited for our family to continue to grow together, even through our challenges. Thank you Air Force for challenging our marriage in ways I could never imagined, and helping us come out of UPT stronger.

I love you more today than yesterday, but far less than tomorrow. Here's to our forever babe <3

Lets be Honest

Monday was one of those days. You know those days. The days when nothing seems to go right, exhaustion is at its peak and you can't seem to pull yourself out of it. When life seems overwhelming and you can't find the good in anything really.  Positivity is thrown out the window and you snowball your thoughts into worse-case scenarios. Everybody has those days, right? Well that was Monday, and what made it even worse - it was my birthday.

I don't expect huge things on my birthday, it really is just another day after you turn 21. Its great to hear from friends on Facebook, get calls from grandparents, texts all day from friends & all the extra warm fuzzier that people throw your way. And that certainly happened for me yesterday. It was great. But it didn't really pull me out of 'one of those days.' So to be honest, my day still kinda sucked. 

The horrible, no good day started off the evening before really. Evie is cutting some molars, and Natalie is figuring out life, sleep and how to sneak as much mom time as possible. So we've been having busy, emotional days around here. Jordan is gone, so naturally nobody sleeps well in our house. Evie woke up around midnight and didn't fall back to sleep well, Natalie did her wake up for food, and Evie woke up 2 hours earlier than normal just to make momma feel extra tired - at least she fell asleep with me in bed for a while longer.

So I'm tired, how many pots of coffee is safe to drink in a day? Evie is whining and crying at just about everything. And by everything I mean EVERYTHING. This girl gives full on dramatic episodes to questioning if she wants water or milk. It took me a good hour before the fog lifted some for me. Again, I'm not the only one with this struggle, right? My fog is lifting just about the time Natalie decides she's hungry/tired/cranky/cling-on. She's been doing this I'm fussy, not super hungry, but I want to nurse, and no I'm not sleeping thing. Every morning lately its been a thing - she used to just take a morning nap, I'd like that back. 

We stumble through the morning. All the while I'm just cranky myself. Just in a funk. I get "happy birthday!!" calls and texts. They are lovely, they really are. The cheer me up - and then I look around at my massive pile of laundry, fussy baby, dramatic crying two year old - and then I'm back into that funk. Why? I want so badly just to enjoy the day with my girls and relax. But as the morning wore on, it almost got worse.

The rest of the day continued to have ups and downs. Happy birthday calls staggered throughout the day and would shine light through the clouds hanging over my head that day. The girls fought me on naps, not sure anybody slept more than 45 minutes. I decided it was time to get out of the house, and we went for some greasy, Chick Fil-A and it was just what we needed! 

Four Weeks to Go

We only have four more short weeks to call Enid, America our home. Jordan and I may have differing opinions about leaving, but I know I will miss this place tremendously. And I can't believe I'm saying that. Those words did not just come out of my mouth. But they did.

An Oklahoma Sunset

I still laugh at the fact that we live in Oklahoma. I mean, who actually lives in Oklahoma? Well, I've learned quite a lot of amazing people live here. But it still seems random to me. Its almost like that far away land that people hear about and talk about, but you aren't quite sure it exists. Its a land that I never thought I would see the beauty in and its one that people here love. Sure, there are some things I would like to see in Enid - like a Target - but it is far better than I expected. We moved here not knowing a single person and will leave here with life long friendships that formed over long work days, fun Friday nights, weekend trips out of Enid, playgroups and playdates, hot hot summer days, and endless laughs. 

Oklahoma Sky

The first house we lived in after a mess up with our housing on base was nothing short of a 'God Thing.' Our next door neighbors were the most amazing, loving people and welcomed us into their lives. They have a little girl, Rylee, who is just 2 months older than Evelyn, how perfect was that?! Kaci and I were instant friends, and we were brought into each others lives when we needed it the most. Kaci was actually the first person to know I was pregnant with Natalie, as she stopped over just after I took the test. I was slightly freaking out and she was there to help calm my fears of delivering a baby hundreds of miles away from family in a new town. Jordan and I had to make the tough decision to move onto base when a house became available, and believe me, I was so sad to move away from our new friends! Thankfully, Enid isn't that big and we have still been able to see Kaci and Rylee quite often this last year! 

Once we moved on base we became completely immersed in Air Force life - its hard not to when you live on base, right? Friends stopping over for dinner when our husbands work late, walking to the commissary and heading to the park around the corner, all have been apart of our life here. The T-6 is a constant in our life, one is usually flying overhead every minute from the time the sun rises until the workday is done. They say you get used to the noise, and I guess I have. Weekends and weather days when they don't fly seem eerily quiet. Going home last month I missed the constant hum of planes overhead. My dad said its like an air show every day. And many days it is. 

Going to drop nights {when pilots who are about to graduate get their assignments}, and counting down the weeks until our drop night comes, never gets old. It is the most excitement that happens around here and honestly I'm not sure its comparable to anything else. Except maybe being in labor and not knowing if your baby is a boy or a girl - that's pretty close. But seriously, these pilots are going up on stage in front of hundreds of people and will find out what their future holds, and where they will live for the next few years. Its so exhilarating and can be a very happy moment, or very disappointing moment. And now our drop night is next. I know our assignment isn't a surprise, but for most of our friends, who became our family here, it is!

In our tiny base rental house, we have had many memories and big moments in our life. We welcomed Natalie home and we celebrated Evelyn turning 2. We've watch Jordan turn into an amazingly talented Air Force pilot and enjoyed so many nights of fun with friends. We've tolerated blowing cold wind in the winter, and scorching hot summer days. There have been crazy wind storms and a few tornado warnings. This little house has a special place in my heart. I won't miss feeling like we've run out of room though - I promise we aren't hoarders!!


Never in a million years did I think I would meet so many wonderful people here. I never imagined how hard it would be to leave this place, but I have a sinking feeling that the end is coming and I'm dreading it. This year has been tough on Jordan, tough on our relationship and just tough in so many ways. But in all that tough-ness, we found irreplaceable friendships and experiences we would have never had if we didn't leave our comfort zone. The water works have already started just writing this. I can only imagine how many more tears will fall as we start to say our goodbyes in the coming weeks. Sorry in advance to you all if I have constant puffy eyes and cry at a moments notice. I will not get over this place quickly and I will carry all these people and memories with me for the rest of my life. 

Four Months Young

Oh my how time flies. 4 months old! 

This sweet baby seems bigger than Evelyn at the same age, but is actually almost a pound smaller! Her sweet cheeks make her look like a baby full of rolls, but thats just not the case. 

She is a quick mover. Her rolling skills blow me away and I wouldn't be surprised if she is sitting up in the next month or so. She love being talked to and gets a little cranky when she is out of the excitement. She likes to "help" me cook and sit on the counter in her bumbo...I know, I know, turn me in. BUT I never leave her un-attended and she seriously loves watching everything I do. She's less cranky and I get more stuff done. Sounds like a win-win to me.

She thinks her daddy is pretty funny and gives the best giggles (and snuggles) of all to him. 

Great-Grandma Hamilton

Great Pappy & Nana

We made our first cross-country adventure this past month with her and spent 2 weeks in Michigan with family. She was a pretty good traveler for being so young and we made it work. Hey man, its tough being in a car for a whole day! While we visited she got to meet almost all of her great-grandparents! We missed one set of grandparents due to time constraints, but good thing we move home in October and we can see them then! PS-do you now see where she gets those blue eyes? Three of these five great-grandparents have blue eyes!

Great Pops Martin

Great-Grandpa Hamilton

She is such a happy baby and {mostly} laid back. She is starting to get more vocal about how she feels, but I wouldn't have her any other way.

She's our little blue-eyed, sweet, talkative baby girl!

Cookin' Cookies

My sweet Evie has the best imagination. She loves imaginary play with baby dolls, tea sets, her stuffed animals and most importantly, her kitchen. She has been really into "cooking" us food and lately has been cooking us a whole lot of cookies. 

I have many memories growing up baking with my Nana and cooking with my Mom. I wanted to always be in the kitchen watching and helping them. It seems that Evie may be even more like me than we already knew and realized. I had not taken the jump and actually let her cook with me, but yesterday morning Natalie took an unexpected morning nap and I took advantage of that one-on-one time with my big girl and let her help me bake some home-made cookies. 

The art of baking homemade cookies doesn't seem to be as appreciated as it once was, and I want her to be able to recall recipes off the top of her head and bake the best cookies around. I find it easier and the cookies taste far better when I get out my hand mixer and measure out the ingredients myself. 

So I'll start early teaching both my girls to bake and cook all they can from scratch. Some days I'm "too busy" and its just easier to not have Evie help me in the kitchen. Sometimes its not safe for her to be with me in the kitchen. But after our wonderful morning and watching her light up with excitement when she would dump flour into the bowl, I want to get her involved as much as I possibly can. I want her to do what she loves, and if she loves to help momma cook in the kitchen, I'm going to try my best to make sure she gets to do that!

How cute was she baking with me? 

Gotta make sure it tastes good! 

YUMM!!!

Seriously, she loved this day. If only she would remember it as fondly as I will. Hopefully we get to enjoy many more baking lessons and continue to make these happy memories. Now we need an apron and an appropriate stool for some extra height and we will be ready for more cooking adventures. Maybe someday she'll be teaching me new recipes cooking us dinner and baking us delicious desserts! Thanks for the help Evelyn!!